movie archive

years: 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 20212022

2023

Monster

Fucked me up real good on the plane. Every layer a new arrow in my heart.

Please Don’t Destroy

Better than the other recent SNL movie but still very much an SNL movie.

Foe

Plodding but interesting.

Out of the Furnace

What if John Wick was a steelworker?

The Marvels

A fun Marvel movie again!

The Fablemans

Gonna re-listen to the Blank Check episode on this now. A real hard look at what making art is like, and also what it’s like to have a mom with mental illness. The latter was tough.

Dark Water

Bill Pullman playing a simple country lawyer was a well-needed counter to the extremely grim subject matter. There’s no punishment strong enough to balance the damage imperial capitalism and greed have caused the world.

Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant

Solid music and a surprisingly well-told story.

Anatomy of a Fall

So much of the movie mirrored the bit at the end “there’s no reward, it’s just over”. Probably too French for me.

The Killer

Amazing. Hilarious at times and wonderful crafted jaunt.

Greenland

The diabetes thing is still a hat on a hat.

28 Days Later

I still can’t believe Doctor Who did the Scarecrow so dirty.

Royal Hotel

Elrond really let himself go when he moved from New Zealand to Australia. That was extremely stressful.

The Burbs

A fun rewatch—saw this when I was a kid.

Pigeon Tunnel

Loved this. “…he’d have betrayed the cat, somehow”

Nun 2

For half of the movie I thought it took place in multiple time periods.

Ginger Snaps

I saw bits of this at I <3 Video in Austin twenty plus years ago but somehow didn’t see the whole thing until now. Fun.

Konferensen

A Swedish Severance with fun twists.

Midway

Other than some of the pretty “USA USA” stuff in this, the battles were wild. I wanted to watch this because my grandpa was on a carrier in WW2 that got kamikaze’d a few times.

Killers of the Flower Moon

Damn. It was long but riveting. I also audibly said “wow” at a few cameos.

Saw X

Scam bad.

Haunting in Venice

The camera was wacky, but the film was a fun little mystery.

It Follows

If I flew to Tokyo I could maybe avoid the thing for over two months.

Monsters

Ahh so good.

Totally Killer

Nick at night scream.

Spy Game

Always a fun rewatch.

Insidious: Chapter 3

As hokey as these are there is something kinda charming here.

The Pope’s Exorcist

The best part was Crowe riding a little vespa

Benjamin Button

A temporal pincer.

Rosemary’s Baby

Hail satan

The Outwaters

Conceptually cool but I can’t vibe with this kinda camera.

The Creator

Cool world-building but the 3rd act was too rushed. Also my buddy’s character died too soon.

Fight Club

This held up much better than I thought considering I’d watched it dozens of times in my teens and early twenties.

Stars at Noon

I’ve definitely known this character. This was a different film to what I initially imagined it would be, but still solid.

Broker

I’m never emotionally ready for any of Koreeda’s films. Everyone in this is looking for a family, even if they don’t know it.

No One Will Save You

Almost devoid of dialogue, it built tension with foley and music. The overhead camera and some of the chase work is outstanding. It was a little hard for me to connect with it in silence though.

HUMP 2023

Another great collection of amateur and pro adult film. I love that this festival always vacillates between hot and hilarious.

Bottoms

Excellent comedy about fucked-up young dykes.

Suzume

Was super tired so I saw the first ten minutes and the last ten because I feel asleep then rewound and watched the rest.

The Elephant 6 Documentary

A fun and nostalgic look at a set of bands that meant a lot to me while going to shows in Austin.

The Constant Gardener

He took breaks from gardening to solve a murder.

Theater Camp

Damn. So fucking funny, and reminiscent of all my childhood musical and theater classes and productions.

Teenage Mutant Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

Great animation, and a fun plot that gets what makes TMNT fun. This is the best turtle action since “Turtle turtle, power.”

The Game

My generation’s Christmas Carol.

Alien Vs. Predator

Not nearly as cool as I thought it was when I first saw it, but also I’m a sucker for W.S Anderson.

Se7en

Hadn’t seen this for 10 or more years and hrs still a bleak triumph.

Hellraiser 2

Googled how many bands are called the lament configuration during the movie.

The Meg 2

Some decent action set pieces, but it’s hard to outdo the first giant shark movie. Long live Fun Island.

Bogeyman

Meh. I had some hopes but this was just so-so.

All Jacked Up and Full of Worms

Music was solid, but I think it was too full of ideas without a real anchor.

Stoker

Saw this in the theater and was surprised by it. Rewatching for Blank Check and, yea, still rips in a bizarre way.

Thirst

Park Chan Wook with one of the best vampire movies.

Zodiac

Love this.

Oppenheimer

More of a nerdy political movie than a physics one but I’m a sucker for pop political and proceedings stuff. Nolan, ya dunnit again.

Erin Brockovich

I love a good law procedural.

No Hard Feelings

Adorable and surprisingly wholesome.

Insidious

Forgot I’d watched this, which says a lot about it.

The Martian

Another comfort rewatch. Just a chill time.

World War Z

A comfort rewatch of a kinda silly but exciting zombie film.

Castle in the Sky

A Miyazaki film I’d never seen. After listening to the corresponding Blank Check episode I got stoked for this one and even though it didn’t hit as hard as Spirited Away the planes and tech stuff were fun. Please Ghibli take the ToTK engine and make this into a game.

War of the Worlds

Cloverfield was a much better way to tell this kind of story, especially because it had zero screaming children.

The Program

Dr. Ferrari’s portrayal is amazing. Fuck Lance. Lee Pace still rules.

All For One

Didn’t know much about Mitchelton Scott/Jayco Alula/Orica Greenedge beyond what I’d picked-up from Life in the Peloton, but this was a fun look at a team’s ups and downs.

Hatching

This is what I imagine a kenku looks like.

The Birdcage

Still amazed this was on of my dad’s favorite movies. A classic.

Interstellar

All the dad feelings wrapped in a sci-fi package.

Moneyball

Listening to Blank Check on a bike ride made me finally watch this. I don’t care about baseball but Pitt really carried this thing.

Tenet

Love this a little more every time.

The Mechanic

Is every auto-erotic death an assassination?

Blackening

Damn funny in bits but not super cohesive. Glad Tim Story got to stop making Fantastic Four movies though.

Hunt

A taut spy-thriller with great action.

Alone

I don’t like that “woman terrorized by a guy” is a horror genre now, but the PNW was a solid backdrop to a so-so movie.

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance

Brutal! Most of the beats were familiar, but I forgot just how intense it gets in the back half.

JSA

A great rewatch. I still love how the story comes together and the emotions everyone are displaying as they make friendships and try to bridge cultures. The Swiss folks… not so great.

Asteroid City

Something about the last three Anderson movies has left me feeling a little checked-out and disengaged and I can’t put my finger on what.

Ocean’s Eleven

I think I saw this in theaters originally, and it’s still a hoot. Other movies have since done heists better, but this was a real paradigm shift up there with MI.

Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning 1

This movie posits Ethan Hunt is the living messiah and honestly, why not.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Part 3

A refreshing and fun marvel. Raccoons are super cute, and himbo Adam Warlock worked.

Khandahar

Another goofy G Butler movie where he slips in and out of being Scottish. Good bits by that guy from Valhalla and The Shadow King.

Sanctuary

Qualley plays mean well.

Extraction 2

The action and plot of Call of Duty Warzone.

Before We Vanish

An interesting counterpoint to Invasion of the Body Snatchers, with a lot more silliness and a slower pace.

Showing Up

The number of voicemails and phone calls in this was stressful. I wish she’d paid more attention to her cat.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

We need more protagonists that are food inspectors. A movie telling the truth about flowers (bad) for once.

Fast X

Lol.

Solaris

Clooney is great in space. I’ve never seen the original. This made me want to rewatch Interstellar.

Swiss Army Man

I think this is what men talk about in therapy.

Children of Men

Still hits.

Fool’s Gold

A bit of Buster Keaton, excellent cameos, and a lot of heart.

Blackberry

Outstanding. Riveting with some outstanding acting. I never had a Blackberry, so I was pretty unfamiliar with the story, but damn.

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse

Fun but way too long.

Hypnotic

You can tell someone had a psychic influence concept and then kinda skipped world building and didn’t nail the landing.

Reality

The past 22 years are such a massive clusterfuck it’s going to be wild to read about them in 30 more.

Double Jeopardy

Inexplicably I remember my parents going to see this in the theater. Lots of this had me guffawing. A solid, if not erotic, thriller. Gish rules.

Tour de Pharmacy

Lol what a weird hoot.

Evil Dead Rise

Different vibe than the other Evil Deads but a fun horror film still.

Sisu

The man just wants his gold and casually destroys a bunch of nazis. Great time.

Con Air

DVD pile at the grocery store led to a post-race hotel movie night.

How to Blow Up a Pipeline

…unless

Scream VI

The logic of these movies never really works, but they’re still fun.

Return to Seoul

A gorgeous film. Lots of therapy fuel in this one about identity, family, and acceptance.

Beau is Afraid

And for good reason.

Tetris

Way more entertaining than I expected. Honestly this was a thrilling hoot.

Knives Out: Glass Onion

Rewatch.

Ant Man: Quantumania

This was a bizarre jumble. I don’t really understand what it was going for, but I guess it’s fine?

Project Wolf Hunting

Con Air on a boat?! Nah, it’s a much sillier gore-fest.

Three Thousand Years of Longing

A fun, fantastical love story.

65

This would’ve been better with the girl played by Annette.

Women Talking

I’ve read some Toews so I have a passing familiarity with Mennonite worlds, but damn this was both gorgeous and sad. One of the best soundtracks I’ve heard in a long time too.

Knock at the Cabin

A really strange twist to the Looking story.

London Has Fallen

This president can’t catch a break!

Take Out

A good reminder of how far digital cinema has come. Watching this in 2023 felt much more voyueristic than I think was intended—like, now this could be shot on an iPhone with no issue. The silence of the protagonist made this almost feel like a restaurant RPG.

Infinity Pool

The only movie that has ever captured the feeling of staying at a resort hotel.

Olympus Has Fallen

I love that this was a competitor for another movie about a White House attack.

Yellow Sea

The less glamorous side of contract killing.

Fire of Love

Dang.

The Nice Guys

Took a minute to tune-into the vibe of this film, but eventually it hit.

Skinamarink

Not a movie barely a screensaver.

Plane

Yelling PLANE!

Bone Collector

Tonights theme was collecting bone.

Magic Mike XXL

A silly good time.

Underwater

Rewatching an awesome underwater thriller.

M3GAN

Hell yea.

Magic Mike

This was my Titanic of the 2000s insofar as everyone talking about how good it was made me never want to see it. I got over myself and it was fun.

Sully

Tom Hanks playing a guy who’s great at planes, and the guy from GUTs making him climb an agrocrag of red tape.

Deja Vu

Denzel laughing at physics.

Roman J. Israel, Esq

Colin Farrell was playing the Penguin in this, right?

Fallen

Denzel should’ve played Constantine.

Moonfall

Great.

Penguin Highway

Cute

Toy Story 4

I thought I’d seen this, but couldn’t remember who “Forky” was. Repeated jokes on Blank Check made me watch and I’m glad I did—cute AF.

Duplicity

very Giamatti voice Show me the cream!

Slumberparty Massacre

When I saw “Rita Mae Brown” I yelled.

I Want You Back

Love a good classic romcom.

Big Short

Still hits. Fuck banks.

Weekend

My guy, take a typing class.

Certain Women

Certain vibes.

Aftersun

Dad movies. Fuck.

The Post

The pre-chum box days when reporters still got paid well.

Vampyr

I dug the framing in this—angles for days.

Pearl

I liked X better, but this was occasionally fun.

Four Women

Shorts on my Criterion list feel like cheating usually but I hate interpretive dance.

Cold Lasagna I Hate Myself

Very funny.

Safe

Haynes captures another side to the creepiness of suburban life and loneliness of illness like the campy cousin to Lynch.

From Dusk Til Dawn

Clooney should always have neck tattoos.

Bergman Island

I don’t think I’ve seen a single Bergman film, which means a lot of this was likely lost on me. An interesting story regardless. “In Sweden we are very serious about recycling”.

Spook Sport

The Rude Tales theme!

Koyaanisqatsi

First time I’ve seen this movie without being high, and it holds up.

Rogue Agent

He’s never really a spy, ladies. Julian Barrett is aging well

Wendell & Wild

Excited to hear the Blank Check on this movie. Stop motion is always so cool.

2022

Margin Call

Jeremy Irons is always excellent.

The Square

If Claes Bang ends-up being James Bond I will laugh and laugh, but hopefully someone named Bussy Bhole gets to fight him for a condom.

Beasts of No Nation

Dang.

Troll

It’s no Trollhunter.

Sweetie

Well, that was bizarre.

Good Morning

Isamu steals the show, and what a show it was!

Breathless

Jean Seberg could sell me a newspaper.

Before Sunset

I still think Ethan Hawke’s character is the worst.

Tokyo Drifter

The strangest Fast & Furious movie.

The Importance of Being Earnest

At no point do I believe these men are straight.

Turning Red

Move over Degrassi.

Mission Impossible: Fallout

Completing my rewatch.

A Christmas Tale

The Ten Commandments is a bizarre xmas movie.

Die Hard

“I was in junior high, dickhead”

The Night Before

Nathan Fielder Red Bull driver.

Avatar: The Way of Water

This was so, so long. I think the word got out about how excruciatingly long it is because people were still coming in to watch it after the first 40 minutes. I can’t believe James Cameron made a train heist boring. The water stuff was cool, but I hated Spider. I would happily watch this in 2D to avoid the goofy goggles. Jermaine Clement hopefully got paid for this but he was wasted and had the worst American accent for no reason.

The Eternal Daughter

Glacial pacing knocked me out on try one, and I rewatched the second half in the morning. I think this may have worked better for me with and actress I like or more knowledge of Hogg films. This was a weird place to start watching this director.

Tár

If I were a major movie critic I would find it irresistible to say something like “Tár’d and feather’d” and audibly chuckle from my windowed office. Honestly, a great film.

Banshees of Inisherin

Lol. Island boys.

White Noise

Utterly bizarre… like a Sorkin scripted soliloquy on top of a surrealist delight. Every movie should end like this.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Quick to the action, with little build-up. I can see why this influenced many directors, and how it shaped things like X and Cabin in the Woods. Great gore-filled scare.

Wakanda Forever

Way too long but, it was fun to see all the sea battles and weird Namor shit.

The Menu

Hilarious. I want a cheeseburger so bad now.

It’s Hard Being a Man

Mostly watched this because I wanted to see what post-war Japanese comedy was about. The over-the-top Tora san could’ve been an anime guy for how big his performance was.

Beast

A lion revenge film where the lion is the protagonist. Anti-poachers need cooler names. I’m still surprised they never ended-up in the lookout tower.

Knife + Heart

A fantastic blend of 70s gay porn and slasher that transcends into a love story.

Jujutsu Kaisen: 0

This made me want season 2 to come out soon. Fun.

Silent Hill: Revelation

Not as good as the first but weirdly fun.

There’s Something in the Dirt

An interesting COVID-era movie in a similar vein to Primer. I don’t know if giving these guys a big budget for film would help or hinder, but conceptually they make cool stuff.

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

Very fun! I think this didn’t match the original but I would happily watch one of these every couple years and hope they get made.

Amsterdam

The number of actors in this film is completely unaligned with its quality. In an attempt to be clever and convoluted, it just ends up as a mess. I do love Christian Bale’s extreme Kramer energy though.

Alien: Covenant

Very charming still, with a+ Fassbender action.

Prometheus

This is an annual rewatch for me now, and it’s fun every time. I think it was unfairly panned, but has so many weird little scenes that it’s great.

Ad Astra

A second time through this left me much more satisfied. I think the first viewing I must’ve been grumpier, but this time the emotion from Pitt was clear, and the grim reality of long-term space travel well-communicated. So many gorgeous shots in this movie.

Man on Fire

Denzel in a Tony Scott film is exactly what I needed tonight. A comforting revenge rampage.

The Celebration

My first official Dogme 95 watch, though I’ve seen other inspired by Dogme films. The technical goofiness was fine, but fortunately the story and characters covered for the unnecessary restrictions. A great artist can paint with one color on a rock, but why? Danes get candles right but I don’t understand all the singing.

Gravity

Space palette cleanser. Watched this when it came out and it’s still thrilling and gorgeous.

Female Trouble

My first Waters. Are weird ladies with perms on Lex? “I don’t want any boy dates” Gater sounds a lot like Liberty Balboa. “Gonna find happiness in the auto industry”. I wanted to like this but the dialogue being exclusively yelling made it hard to watch.

Black Hawk Down

Somehow less stressful than watching election results come in. A good rewatch.

Disappearance at Clifton Hill

Cronenburg has an eerily NPR voice that I didn’t expect. Very Canadian (complimentary).

Hellbender

Kinda wild that this was made by and stars a family. If more families made metal together and horror films I think the world would be a better place. Parts of this hit and parts of it are too corny.

Enola Holmes 2

A fun romp. I like this cute, easy-watching Holmes reboot.

The Empty Man

I love that one of the main women in this has that boy from Stranger Thing’s terrible haircut. I’m a sucker for weird eldritch horror and this was much better than I expected.

Annihilation

A classic. Rewatched to test out my new Apple TV, and just kept watching. I love the book this is inspired by, and somehow the movie is a different and weird delight that I enjoy every time.

‌We’re All Going to the World’s Fair

Truly captured the sad weirdness of being alone online. Serial Experiments Lain but creepy pasta.

Godzilla

I love seeing 50s Japan on film because of fascinating lens it provides of a rapidly changing place reeling from a devastating war. On the downside the pacing of older movies is unbearable.

Asparagus

With the caveat that I’m not very fond of animated or short films, but this was fortunately visually bizarre enough to be kinda fun.

Smile

It Follows-esque, but it tried to do a bit too much.

Good Time

Post-Twilight Pattinson is such a bizarre and great actor. Every shot was so chaotic and the score ruled. Sadfies great at making stories about bad people.

Triangle of Sadness

Incredible. One of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a while. So many scenes and shots are going to stay with me.

Deadwax

Damn I want a record player now.

The Invitation

Not going to parties is the best choice, especially in LA. Kusama’s best.

The Strangers

Way too much screaming and I had to keep cranking down the volume because I live in an apartment.

Bros

No man with as much hair as Luke would wear a hat that much. Park fight had me cracking up. Every party has a Steve. Silly, cute, and heartwarming.

Inspector Ike

A little on the nose, but a neat little send-up/tribute to Columbo and the ilk.

Halloween Ends

Never my favorite horror series, but this was an ok ending, I guess.

Silent Hill

The child in this is upsettingly ADR’d. Also glad to know my ACAB feelings mean I don’t find the cop hot.

The Wailing

There’s probably a political message here, but also it’s a spooky time.

Dear Zachary

Fuck. It feels weird to “rate” this movie since it’s clearly very important, but also very unpleasant to watch.

10 Cloverfield Lane

Way less traumatic on rewatch than the first viewing. Other than the “locked in a house with a big guy” vibe this was a fun, weird film.

Villains

Real Skarsgård and Monroe month over here. Not too many surprises but entertaining.

We Need to Talk About Kevin

Reasons to never breed: 1-1000. Ezra Miller so good at playing a creepy nightmare person they continued in real life. Legitimately hard to watch,, but the emotional warfare it plays on the viewer is impressive.

The Night Eats the World

This likely feels different to watch than it would mid-quarantine, but it still feels a bit too real. Lie and Lavant are excellent throughout, with the latter playing a truly odd role well.

Revenge

Well-shot, but I don’t think the ‘woman gets revenge for sexual violence” genre is my thing. Like, hey, love the revenge, but the film is much more concerned with the men than I care for. Nothing in this feels new or important in any way, and it’s got the same gore-factor as an Evil Dead.

### Wildlife

Oof. A pretty brutal look at having to parent your parents.

Barbarian

Went in knowing nothing but the cast and came out a bit freaked out and very impressed.

Personal Shopper

One of the saddest things was watching Kristen Stewart have to drink French coffee. A scene in this film is maybe the only time I’ve seen a cis woman portrayed like a trans woman wrt fetishization of dresses. No clue what to expect going in, but this was a great and unlikely pair for my other film of the evening.

The Uninvited

I hate an awkward lamb. I can see how this set the stage for quite a few haunted house movies but the pacing of 40s films still makes me yawn.

Decision to Leave

I’ll have to rewatch this to make sure I’m not judging the cinematography by a lot of the terrible films I’ve seen this year, but wow. A truly excellent movie about the weird ways feeling and truth intersect.

Significant Other

This is a good year for Maika Monroe’s spooky films. Gorgeously shot, with some fun scares and nice concept.

Hellraiser

A gross, weird fun time. I’ve only seen the original but I always dig bizarre portrayals of demons.

Cronos

Why, upon finding a very ugly busted statue, would you keep it? An interesting, slightly spooky debut.

Jason Bourne

A waste of Vikander and Cassel, but better than the Renner one at least.

Rec

Continuing my spooky month with a rewatch of a classic found footage film. I love how quickly this amps up.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E

nothing to write home about, but a fun, serviceable, action film.

The Descent

Every time I see this movie the scariest thing is the actual spelunking. Caves? No thanks.

Irma Vep

Avoided this for a while because I assumed it would be super boring, but instead it’s a fascinating look at a film industry as an absolute mess of characters and mistakes. Cheung is great.

Vesper

I’ll have to rewatch this and let it sink in a bit. Cool world and somewhat Cronenburgian special effects. I want to see these directors do the second and third parts of the Area X trilogy.

Baby Assassins

Solid fight choreography, a silly plot, and a lot of weird humor. Overall it was fun!

Inside Llewyn Davis

Imagine if folk music had been big in the 90s instead of boy bands, and Timberlake was just a singer-songwriter. Also I hope Goodman got an Oscar for his whole thing, but especially his hair.

Hunger

Brutal. Incredible performances. Close all prisons.

Loneliest Planet

Much much slower and less satisfying Force Majeure.

Avatar

I forgot how long this movie was. It’s still a strange 3D fern gully and I can’t believe it’s getting sequels, but I guess I’ll see them so maybe it all makes sense.

Watcher

Top tip: don’t gaslight your girlfriend. The dark side of Lost in Translation.

Ghost World

This captures the teen angst and too cool vibes of the late 1990s pretty well. Buscemi is great and creepy.

Lou

Pretty fun if straightforward. West Wing John Wick. The third act dragged a bit.

Icarus

An incredible documentary on the decades-long doping program in Russia and the scientist who blew the whistle on it. With PEDs still casting a shadow over my favorite sport this was fascinating and sad.

Freaks

A surprisingly interesting sci-fi jam.

Anima

Thom Yorke doing a Mr. Bean meets Brazil.

The Toll

A funny low-end gangster and cop film set in a tiny bit of Wales. I think I looked this up because of the main actress for Feast, and she was solid in The Toll too.

Panic Room

Baby Kristen Stewart! Maybe one of the only movies with mother and daughter both played by lesbians? The first time I saw this was a very shitty SD copy on an old non-LCD monitor and I couldn’t really see what was happening. This time was better.

誰がために

A sad story on how to grieve and not moving on.

Role Models

Wild how a movie with at least one actor who sexually assaulted women has a different character who aged even more poorly. Bits of this were pretty funny but it’s pretty fucked these guys didn’t think “hey what if we worked with more women”?

The American

We’re either too loud or we’re international assassins on the run…

Captain Philips

Great time with Hanks but also even as a “based on a true story” this is hilariously bad economics… how many millions of dollars does it cost to float around in fancy boats doing night ops?

Goodnight, Mommy

Haunting and fascinating.

Confess, Fletch

As a kid I really loved the Chevy Chase Fletch movies but don’t know if they would hold up, but this ruled. Hamm found a perfect role.

The Invitation

I don’t even have misophonia and the nail bits were horrible. I was just complaining about the fanfic-ification of entertainment recently and this is a prime example of the goofy weird romance stuff that leads to. The twist is pretty obviously telegraphed and not much of a payoff, but I kept hoping it’d be a Cthulhu thing maybe? I hope Emmanuel gets better roles next.

Emily the Criminal

Didn’t know what to expect but I had a great time.

Breaking

Depressing! An empathetic tale of how poorly the US treats its citizens.

Full Metal Jacket

Haunting and still amazing.

The Spy Who Loved Me

Do you think the goons in red have a less obvious costume for when they’re not in the sea base? After rewatching Casino Royale I remembered that Bond can be awesome, but this is merely better than the other Moore films.

T### hor: Love & Thunder

G&R songs are better when they’re covered. This was fun enough with some neat fights but I wanted more god butchering.

Fall

Lee Pace would’ve been good in this one too. I love a weird outdoor accidents film, especially when it has two rad women as the protagonists. I really hate heights.

Videodrome

I forgot how most of the plot of this movie is Woods’ obsession with finding good porn. Long live the new flesh.

Man with a Golden Gun

For such a classic Bond film, it’s embarrassingly goofy and holds up poorly.

Bullet Train

Imagine if Patriot and Survive Style 5+ was a bit more broad but ideal for a few beers and a cartoon antic time.

Chariot

This was weird but not good and Malkovich had red hair.

Clear and Present Danger

This was a regular rewatch growing up, and it’s still a banger. The weird duel to delete files was especially delightful.

Bit

There’s no way LA is flakier than Portland, but there are definitely vampires in both cities. This was fun and silly. Still waiting for a nice cis lady vampire to turn me into a girl who can fly, but not if it means ever living in LA or being stuck with an underdeveloped frontal lobe. Eternal 18 sounds awful.

The Gray Man

You get to watch Ken and Captain America fight.

I’m Your Woman

A lot less crime and a lot more drama than I expected. I think I was hoping for a baby thriller.

On the Count of Three

Way funnier than I expected. Damn this was dark.

Jurassic Park: Dominion

I think this series is finally over. When dinosaurs are used for tension and horror they work, but as weird James Bond parkour villains and eco-terrorism maguffins they are just goofy. Major points off for the stupid tube too.

Bob’s Burgers

All I expected was a stretched-out episode and this was much more fun. I don’t know how long they can keep this show going but it’s up there with the best animated franchises. Simpsons could never.

Sonic 2

Either it was Jim Carey or the writing, but this was way less fun than the first one. Bits were solid, but the whole was just so long and overdone. Chili dog on a chili dog.

The Ward

Watched for Blank Check. I don’t like mental hospital films.

Nude Tuesday

The Julia Davis version was great, but I’d love to see the other to compare. This is the best art to include a nonsense language since Sigur Ros’ album ( ). Weird as fuck, but ultimately a touching story about rediscovering a partner.

Drag Me to Hell

Sam Raimi makes a hell of a movie. Watched this for the Blank Check series, and it was all the over-the-top gore I hoped for, with lots of weird gags.

In the Mouth of Madness

Sam Neil makes an Evil-Dead-esque weirdo horror worth rewatching.

Rubikon

A disappointing space morality tale.

Christine

“God I hate rock and roll”. For a goofy movie about a killer car, this was a lot more interesting than I expected. Also I love that all the high-schoolers looked 35.

Enemy of the State

Not the best Tony Scott, but pretty fun. Will Smith in the utterly bizarre lingerie store made me laugh.

Joshy

It’s weird seeing Alex Ross Perry in a film after hearing him in so many Blank Check episodes. This is the best movie about a bachelor party I’ve ever seen.

Men

Hot damn! I was excited about this as soon as I saw the preview and it met my expectations. Kinnear and Buckley are excellent and the mounting oddity built to truly bizarre heights.

The Unknown Girl

I’ll be honest I kinda spaced-out during this film.

Faults

ME Winstead is a delight and this went to places I didn’t expect.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

A fun Marvel film with a lot of long side stories. I’m glad Spiderman wasn’t in this.

Her Smell

A super chill and easy to watch movie if you’ve been around a lot of alcohol and drug abuse. Yikes. I think this was well done but I kinda had to watch it the way lots of people watch horror films.

Sicario

A rewatch.

Crimes of the Future

A lot less disturbing than I’d initially imagined. A fun look at what human evolution might do to solve the horrific exploitation and pollution of the planet.

Kimi

Chekhov’s kombucha. The Net for a new generation.

Macross Plus

A Top Gun x Macross classic. Don’t trust AI.

Hologram for the King

I’m not geopolitically intelligent enough to comment on the world of this film, but it’s nice to see Tom Hanks just kind of wander around and do stuff.

Speak No Evil

What starts as a mortifying difference in cultures becomes much more disturbing. Sure, pannekoeken is great, but is it worth the risk?

Morbius

At least it’s short.

Michael Clayton

Blackberrys galore. Apparently I saw this in theaters because I remembered a good amount.

Top Gun: Maverick

This is everything I wanted it to be and more.

Limitless

For sure I’ve seen this before but this movie feels like what every guy from Stanford and young founder dude thinks he sounds like.

Jackass 4.5

Poor Darkshark. More of the delights and bruises from the gang.

Desperate Hour

Don’t go into the woods/filming during covid. I dig Naomi Watts but this was… a little too solo.

Chip’N’Dale

This found the right side of the nostalgia line to be charming and funny.

Everything Everywhere All at Once

This hit a lot of family buttons and was also super fun.

Dual

I don’t quite understand Stearns’ style, but the concept was fun. With so many Finnish actors it was odd to have Gillian try an American accent.

Blood Quantum

A pretty cool take on the zombie story. Parts of this were definitely lower-budget but they did a lot with it.

Deep Water

Incredible divorce energy. Waiting for my retired friends to buy a weird mansion with a pool and start murdering their partner’s lovers. The snails were the stars. I hate that he keeps calling his gravel bike a mountain bike and that whoever did continuity let drops turn into flat bars.

The Innocents

TW they murder a fucking cat in this film which pretty much ruined it for me. The theme of “how do children learn morality” was ok, but wow this was a brutal film.

Operation Mincemeat

An interesting war spy thriller with a lot of nods towards the ways it influenced various spy novelists.

The Northman

From husband and wife to son and mother—I wondered what kind of chemistry Skarsgard and Kidman would have in a Viking epic, and the vibe is weird. The VVitch remains my favorite Eggers film, but this clicked with me much more than the Lighthouse. “Their god is a corpse nailed to a tree.”

The Lost CIty

A goofy blast.

Mirai

Super cute but also definitely “please have children” propaganda.

A Futile and Stupid Gesture

Oh that’s the story of how National Lampoon happened. Kinda fun.

You Won’t Be Alone

The VVitch it isn’t, but it is a great exploration of what it means to be human. Reminiscent of the anime To Your Eternity.

Hunt for the Wildebeest

This movie rules. So heartwarming and wonderful.

Wind River

Hawkeye wears a cowboy hat, and the Scarlet Witch does a crime detective. Ultimately an interesting film, but with a slow start.

Ambulance

A fun mess that reminds me of a lot of other heist movies. Gylenhal is really hamming it up throughout. Tonally a lot of the jokes land super awkwardly, but the copious explosions and shots kept things moving.

Uncharted

This had its moments but was mostly just a goofy action film. I never finished the one Uncharted game I played, so maybe I missed out on what was really cool about these.

Harmony

I barely understood this movie. I threw it on because for whatever reason I expected it to mostly be an action film but it had a much more intense consideration of the human condition than I was prepared for on this day.

Toni Erdmann

A slow build but it hits and hits big. This made me miss my dang dad.

Swallow

Pica pica… chew?

The Batman

Dang! I figured Nolan had made the definitive Batman movies but this is such an interesting and different take. I love the Zodiac Killer meets Batman vibe, and all the low-key DIY costumes and vehicles. I want to see this universe’s version of Poison Ivy.

The Humans

Old apartments are so unsettling and strange that I kept expecting this to build into a horror film. The actual horrors of family holidays are the only ghoul in this movie though.

X

The pacing was a bit slower than I expected and the antagonists never clicked.

Infinite Storm

Sparse and a bit grim, but I enjoyed the adventure.

The Perfection

Allison Williams has perfected the dangerously awful white last character. A twisted thriller that went places I didn’t expect.

Cold Fish

I forgot this was loosely based on actual murders. There are bits of this that are absolutely wild and hilarious and parts that are awful to watch due to their content. Sono is a weirdo.

Infinite

For all the action and plot explanation, this was a bit of a weird mess. Glad to see Mantzoukas in a fun role at least.

355

Lady spies are cool. This never quite lived up to the potential of all the amazing actresses, but it was fun enough. Diane Kruger should be in more films, I think.

Hateful 8

Other than the first chunk of the movie aiming to hit a slur quota it was well-shot and full of excellently weird performances. I could feel the cold and taste the bad coffee.

Becky

A wild addition to the Paul Blart universe. At some point after Mall Cop 2, he became a Neo-nazi and spent time in jail. When he gets out, he messes with the wrong twisted teen. A gruesome Home Alone-alike.

Soul

A movie about a jazz pianist ended-up as a lot more. Really cute, well-animated, and soul-stirring.

The Third Murder

Making my way through the back catalog of Koreeda films and this stands out as a really fascinating murder investigation drama. It’s a little slow in places, but the framing of the shots and the exploration of the complexities of feeling, memory, and story are excellent.

Apollo 11

Wow. This was a breathtaking documentary reconstruction of film and still photos. It’s amazing to see all the incredible space stuff against the backdrop of a time I’m only familiar with from old family photos. Short-sleeved dress shirts and chain smoking? Hell yea.

Beyond the Infinite Two Minutes

The camera work is outstanding. This one one of the more clever and fun time concepts I’ve seen on film. The acting is a bit more improv show than drama, but it comes together and continues to be fun.

Moonfall

“Mounting moon terror” is a phrase uttered in this film, and I couldn’t be happier. A ridiculous moon disaster movie is exactly what I wanted tonight. The screw-up kid was a hat on a hat though, and ditto all the Elon shit.

After the Wedding

Another story of flawed men and regret, but with excellent performances, music cues, and a fantastic pace.

Perfect Blue

I’ve watched this a few times and it’s still a fascinating look at obsession and an entertainment career. I wish Kon was alive and making more movies.

Death on the Nile

The biggest shock of this film was that Brand could act! I saw this film’s predecessor in Osaka a few years ago and have a fondness for Branaugh and Christie. The costuming was nice, and the mystery taut. This movie makes me with I could travel again!

Drive My Car

This movie will stick with me for a while. I haven’t read the story its based-on, so I went into it with only a one Hamaguchi and an idea of Murakami’s style in mind. The use of silence and a spare soundtrack really lent itself to the long road shots and close-ups of faces. An amazing film.

The Adam Project

A thoroughly fun action film. This was well-paced, high-enough budget, and chill.

What Keeps You Alive

This is why I’ve always preferred a clean break and never trust a girl with a Jeep. A fun if a little long-winded thriller.

Miami Connection

A classic with first-timer Drew.

After Yang

Woah, a Lily Chou-chou song! This movie was a fascinating look at a struggling family. It was a less aggressively uneasy Black Mirror episode; thoughtful mediation on life.

Fresh

Initially I thought the guy in this was Henry Cavill, which would’ve been a little too on the nose. Also I will never believe that anyone sleeps in a bra despite at least two former dates doing so. Lesbian best friend is the new gay best friend? I guess this movie is saying that heterosexuality is basically the same as being kidnapped and slowly killed by a man… which, huh. Ok.

Spiderman: No Way Home

More fun than I expected but I still hear “Spider-Man” in the voice of the grown man crying next to me in the theater during the Avengers movie.

Hausu

A weird and silly mess.

Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy

Regret is a helluva thing. Fantastic.

A Most Wanted Man

RIP PSH. A solid thriller that never rises to the heights of other Le Carre but was a nice ride.

Death of Me

Top tip: don’t drink necromantic shots. This was spooky and utterly silly.

Gaia

This would pair nicely with Annihilation in a double-feature about our inability to make peace with the planet and cool mycology. Spooky and cool.

Licorice Pizza

“Fuck off, teenagers.” There’s such a charm and delight to this film that in some ways mirrors the best parts of The Royal Tenenbaums. While Wes Anderson has fully lost himself in the twee, PT Anderson keeps making uniquely fun movies. I wish we’d gotten Melora Walters or Amy Adams as Streisand though. I have never listened to Him.

Scream

Can you make a referential movie so referential it transcends itself? Not this time.

Domino

Not DePalma’s best. A mediocre political thriller with the music of a way weirder film.

Fear Street: Part 3

This was a satisfying conclusion and another fun queer horror slasher.

Fear Street: Part 2

A great take on the 70s slasher.

Jackass: Forever

This is basically the X-Men academy now and they’ve got their New Mutants. Truly hilarious.

Fear Street: Part 1

A fun slasher that was much bloodier and wilder than I expected from something related to R.L. Stine. I think I’ll watch the trilogy.

The Daytrippers

A great 90s road trip movie about the failing relationships and weird families.

Shimmer Lake

I wasn’t sold on this initially but as it went on I was pretty pleased with the resolution.

Don’t Breathe

A little reminiscent of Green Room in bits. I didn’t know who to root for in the beginning but the nightmarish sexual assault and forced pregnancy stuff made it clear who not to root for.

Crash

A freaky, horny masterpiece. I’m worried everyone only has one set of underwear though.

Outbreak

It’s depressing how much more chill this was than the past two years.

The Parallax View

A neat, twisty thriller about a shadowy corporation involved in political assassination. Warren Beatty’s hair is excellent, and the score keeps this feeling tense throughout.

21 Bridges

Somewhere between copaganda and a pretty exciting action film.

Before Sunrise

Elements of this were romantic and exciting but I can’t get over how much of a nightmare it would be for a man to talk to me on a train.

Border

This went to places I absolutely did not expect. It was very well shot, and rather fascinating.

Memories of a Murder

I saw this a long time ago, and it holds up. A strange, twisty police procedural with a great 80s style.

Izzy Gets the Fuck Across Town

First thought: oh wow I have that bra. Second thought: this was a bit of a mess but also a nice little story about holding on to dead dreams. Sarah Goldberg should be in more stuff.

Punch-Drunk Love

This was far more charming when I saw it in theaters as a 17 year-old. While well-shot and strange, the completely bizarre actions of both Sandler and his sisters really made it hard to follow. Luis Guzman and Philip Seymour Hoffman were great as usual.

The Most Dangerous Game

“My life has been one glorious hunt.” I’ve referenced this film for years but hadn’t seen it. A bizarre and fun movie about hunting people. After the Chaplin, I was worried this wasn’t a “talkie” but the sound was solid.

Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence

I’ve heard Ryuchi Sakamoto’s soundtrack for this movie many times, but it didn’t prepare me for the film itself. Takeshi Kitano! David Bowie!

Dune (1984)

This movie is so nostalgic for me, as I grew up watching it regularly. It holds up well, but I vastly prefer Momoa’s Duncan to whoever played Duncan in this. Seeing another director’s take on the same source material I appreciate a show-not-tell approach to Lynch’s though there’s no way a huge atmospheric Dune adaptation could’ve been greenlit in 1984. To his credit though, Lynch somewhat managed to encapsulate a whole damn book in one movie. The weird Alia baby still owns bones.

Police Story

Jackie Chan is a terrible boyfriend but an incredible physical actor. It’s been a decade or more since I’ve seen a good HK martial arts film, and this delivered. Comedy, practical effects, and an ton of very wrecked cars and sets.

The Kid

Trash babies are Charlie work. This made want to have a little urchin, simply for the scene where he does his nails and then stretches in his absurd overalls. Also I’m pretty sure I’ve seen someone in Chaplin’s outfit in Harajuku. The OG short king.

Worst Person in the World

From the music to the pacing, I really dug this. The choices were incredibly true to life and brutal. Probably don’t date someone 14 years younger than you.

Holiday

A strange gangster film about abusive relationships and karaoke.

In the Cut

Meg Ryan wearing a beige slip is a bad look and I worry that Mark Ruffalo’s character has a lot of childhood sexual trauma. This was a strange send-up of the erotic thriller. “I’m starting to feel like a chick here.”

Air Doll

Koreeda plus World’s End Girlfriend?! This is a strange film, and a delight. I love a scene of a man forlornly washing out a rubber vagina tube. In a way, this is the weirdest Toy Story movie.

Halloween Kills

This reboot sequel is silly but fun enough to make for a good time.

Monster’s Club

Too cerebral for a Wednesday.

The Eternals

Fun enough. There was a lot of backstory and buildup but it never went anywhere too wild. The source material isn’t my favorite either.

Dredd

What if the Raid was way sparklier and shootier? This was a lot better than I expected, but was still pretty goofy.

Event Horizon

Where we’re going we don’t need eyes

There Will Be Blood

A comforting rewatch of a disturbing film.

Benedetta

Come for the pageantry, stay for the sapphism.

2021 {{#2022}}

Black Christmas

The calls are coming from inside the house! Margot Kidder is so absurd in this. The whole thing is a mess but also a classic that inspired a whole series of slashers.

Don’t Look Up

The comedy version of contemplating the inevitable death of everyone you know to climate change in the next 10-30 years… So yea! Bleak!

The Great Outdoors

Not the best Hughes, but it had weird moments of charm.

Into to the Spiderverse

Saw this in theaters, but the rewatch really held-up. Absolutely gorgeous animation and a fun story. Still by far the best comic book movie.

Dr. Strangelove

An utterly madcap story of bureaucracy and silliness. This is up with Armando Iannucci’s work on the absurdity of the US government and our attempts wage endless wars.

The Matrix: Resurrection

For a movie that had to explain its own existence metatextually, it was pretty fun.

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

I love these goofy movies. This is maybe the best video game adaptation? It covers the first two games pretty well and has some solid action with decent actors I’ve seen in various Canadian TV shoes.

The French Dispatch

The first third of this movie I couldn’t tell if I found it amusing or entirely up its own ass–probably its both! The emotions of this film are refracted too many times to have any real effect, but on the upside the font for the subtitles was nice. I haven’t seen an Anderson film since Moonrise hit theaters, so perhaps I’m just out of love with his work. Timmy Chalet is the most fourteen y/o-looking twenty-five y/o since Schwartzman. The final acts was my favorite, mostly because of Wright and Schreiber.

The Mummy (2017)

None of the fun of the original but some of the action sequences were neat.

Lincoln

parts of this were great but a lot of it felt like Sorkin nightmare. great hats.

The Mummy

I haven’t seen this since I was a kid and its still fun. Watched to prep to listen to Blank Check.

No Man of God

I didn’t know much about Bundy before this, and I might not after, but I enjoyed the ride.

Dogs Don’t Wear Pants

It seems like they jumped to breath-play pretty fast in this one. I like the portrayal of kink as a way to heal.

Boogie Nights

Somehow I’d never seen this. Every performance is a little more unhinged than the last. A delight.

Super 8

Cloverfield meets the Goonies. Underrated fun.

Last Night in Soho

A fun romp through swingin’ London.

Power of the Dog

Take that, peach scene. This is the fucked-up gay Phantom Thread. Damn. Amazing soundtrack and just a delightful story.

The Feast

Just a chill Welsh dinner party. Bring the family.

Unstuck in Time

This hit me like a ton of bricks. So good and weird and sad and wonderful.

Night Raiders

A great anti-imperialist sci-fi with a solid cast. It was great to see Cree ritual and language throughout the film.

Night Raiders

A great anti-imperialist sci-fi with a solid cast. It was great to see Cree ritual and language throughout the film.

Ronin

A classic. Absolutely riveting action with great gritty characters.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

A pretty solid comic movie, even if none of it was super new or wild.

Mullholland Drive

Oops I did it again…

Shang Chi and the Ten Rings

Significantly more fun than most Marvel films. This movie largely stands on its own as a fun martial arts film.

Gretel & Hansel

Visually stunning but poorly paced.

Mitchells vs. the Machines

A delightful tale of a fucked-up family.

Water Lilies

November is turning out to be a lot of rewatches. This held up, and it was cool to revisit the beginning of Adèle Haenel‘s career. I wish more directors were tackling the challenges of girlhood and sexuality with the same energy as Sciamma.

Attack the Block

I guess this is a Doctor Who now. My first rewatch in a while and it really holds up.

Kate Plays Christine

Eerily compelling. This could have been simply an exploitative look at a woman’s death but transcends the material to be a look at how we approach mental health and the voyeurism of suicide.

Alien: Resurrection

Definitely the weakest of the four, even if it has some solid actors. I hate the weird new alien the most.

The Thing

My umpteenth rewatch.

Dracula

Camp AF. Everything Gary Oldman wears is perfect.

Addams Family

A real hoot. Such a strange, fun movie. I haven’t seen this since I was a kid.

Alien^3

I’d never seen the assembly cut, but dang, this is a grim movie. I wish Fincher had gotten to actually deliver on his vision, but sadly this is proably my least favorite Aliens film.

Settlers

A sad, but forgettable tale of a space colony.

Saint Maud

Just let a lesbian have a good time, damn.

Dune

YESSSSSSSTHE SOUND, the beauty of every shot!It was so good it made me like tommy chalet better.

They Live

This so thoroughly influenced other media that watching it was a constant “oh yea!!”

Titane

If you’re gonna dragon a car there might be consequences. This was a nuts movie and I’m a little sad the car didn’t come back… what a deadbeat.

The Card Counter

Between this and First Reformed, I think that Schroeder is perhaps making the best films in the US that deal with our guilt and responsibility for the last two decades of war and devastation. A brutal and haunting score underlines a movie that will stay a with me for a while.

No Time to Die

A blast. A great second film to see in theaters.

Spiral

Not the strongest of the very goofy Saw series.

Till Death

Weirdly, the promotional images spoiled the suspense a bit. An ok thriller.

Lucky Logan

I’ve seen parts of this movie over people’s shoulders dozens of time during a flight, but the actual movie was very charming.

Creep

A tight 70 minutes, but telegpaphed a little bit too much. I wonder what I woul’ve thought about this ten years ago.

Night House

An interesting look at grief and being haunted by our lost loved ones. I think I wanted this to be more hype House of Leaves, but it wash’s quite as wild. The music made me want to listen to Magnolia Electric Co.

Big Trouble in Little China

Kurt Russell is a great sidekick. Watching this again I realized how much of Tim Robinson’s delivery is based on this character.

Free Guy

A better Ready Player One meets Wreck It Ralph.

The Aviator

Way of the future.

Munich

Chilling and excellent. It’s interesting to see james bond meet one of his foes for the first time.

Zero Dark Thirty

A very tense film that makes sure to only humanize selectively. It’s wild seeing an event that I read about in the news like this with Chris Pratt. Well-acted, and shot, but fuck.

Adrift in Tokyo

A wholesome and cute rewatch. Joe Odagiri with a wild hair game.

The Silence of the Lambs

I haven’t seen this in years, and it sure is haunting. Five years or so ago I knew a few women who got spear of Longinus tattoos like Bill, which I still find wild. Goodbye Horses is a dope song.

Eyes Wide Shut

Still a fun and weird film but in the years since I first watched this, most of the bits now seem a bit tame. Who has an orgy without any kink?!

You Were Never Really Here

This is like the most grim John Wick. Well shot, but damn, it was grim.

Palm Springs

Unbelievably charming. My accidental JK Simmons fest continues with a far more fun character of his, and a solid Connor O’Malley. The best thing I can say about this is that it made me want to fall in love.

Whiplash

If the goal was to make every character absolutely insufferable, then this was a great success. The way the film obsessed over the sweat and blood conjured by JK Simmons being one of the most abusive characters on screen was fascinating. Not a fun movie. Because I’m a “such jazz head” I did enjoy the musical interludes.

Heat

Absolutely rad except for Kilmer’s ponytail. The dna of this film is in so many heist films for the past 20 years. Al Pacino talking about butts blew my mind.

Old

If you drink every time someone says older or younger you will die.

Prisoners of the Ghostland

Checkov’s ball bomb. This was silly, but ultimately didn’t live up to Sono’s other work. If this was his first film we could say “oh, that guy makes ok schlock,” but I had pretty high hopes.

It Comes at Night

Not a great movie to watch during a pandemic, but definitely a tense one.

Escape from New York

Rewatched to listen to Blank Check. It’s hilarious to me that Kurt Russell is a libertarian.

Annette

Adam Driver is the worst joker yet. I don’t like musicals but this was so bizarre I enjoyed it.

Wrath of Man

Much more interesting than I first imagined. A wild ride of a revenge film.

Kate

A solid film. MEW should be in more action movies–imo she should take over Mission Impossible or something. Stylish and fast.

Malignant

Schlocky in a very 80s horror way. Not really scary at all, but just a bit silly and gory.

Naked Singularity

Fun and slightly surreal take on a heist and an underdog lawyer story.

The Colony

An interesting post-apocolyptic tale with bits of Waterworld and NK Jemison’s Emergency Skin. I would’ve loved to know more about how the Earth stayed habitable, but that likely would be the long TV version of this story.

Ex Machina

Such an amazing film. The claustrophobic nature of the whole thing really enhances the haunting performances.

We Need to Do Something

I like what it was trying for but it didn’t capture my attention or really deliver.

Antiporno

I haven’t watched a Sono film in a while but man, it’s still a wild ride. I think Suicide Club is still the absolute best, but the absurdly surreal structure of this one was delightful.

Sisters with Transistors

Wow I knew very little about the history of women who pioneered electronic music. This was cool and full f amazing music.

The Forever Purge

Definitely the best of the purge films. A lot of action, and some solid, if not well-fleshed-out characters.

Halloween

A rewatch of a classic.

The Fog

Sometimes slow older movies just don’t hit.

Basic Instinct

Verhoeven’s idea of butch is pretty in line with my preferred presentation. We all need a friend who says “goddamn you dumb sonnafabitch you fucked her”.

Tropic Thunder

It’s wild this got made.

The House That Jack Built

It’s still really confusing that some of y’all think Matt Dillon is hot.

Demonic

Meh.

Pig

Completely unexpected, and excellent.

Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)

A pretty good remake that concerned itself with being a fun movie over being true to the source material. Hawke and Fishburne delivered a solid action performance.

Total Recall (2012)

Way less memorable and funny than the original. This was a serviceable action film that reminded me of when Hollywood really wanted Colin Firth to be the new Tom Cruise.

Total Recall

Verhoeven is a master of cinema and this is up there with his best. Every Arnold scene is using him to his best, and between the makeup and plain silly puppets, it’s a blast.

Assault on Precinct 13

Watched so I could listen to more Blank Check. The premise is super absurd but the action was fun, and there were some very entertaining bits and camera shots.

Titanic

When this came out I remember taking a date to see The Wedding Singer instead and I don’t regret that choice. It was a neat disaster film once it got to that point, and Kathy Bates did a great job, but the romance bit didn’t do much for me. I mean, we’ve all made stupid choices in love, but don’t dive off a lifeboat for a boy you just met!

What Lies Beneath

A little spooky, but mostly rad because Harrison Ford is playing against expectations.

Castaway

So brutal and good. This is just hit after hit and makes you sad about a volleyball.

A Quiet Place Part 2

Spooky and a lot less “why?!” than the first film. I prefer Cillian Murphy to Krasinski.

Beckett

A competent but ultimately substanceless thriller. It was fun to watch JDW just run around and do wild shit.

The Abyss

James Cameron invented SMS. A real spooky, tense, wet time.

Evangelion 2.0 - 3.0 + 1.0

Much more compelling than the original series, with a solid ending.

Riddick

He almost lost his house over this.

A Cure for Wellness

Spooky fun, if a little too long.

The Hunt

Oof.

The Retreat

Revenge horror where a lesbian couple has to survive trip to the country. I recommend this to anyone who wonders why I don’t take more road trips.

Mad Max: Fury Road

Rewatched and if’s still delightful.

Strange Days

This is cyberpunk gold. I can’t believe it didn’t do well, that it used mini discs as a major plot point, or that it’s not available basically anywhere.

Showgirls

Transcendent. This was my first time seeing it after avoiding it because I’d made the mistake of thinking it was just schlock. I was wrong. There’s so much weird depth and fantastic camera work in this.

The Suicide Squad

Perfectly silly and fun. No pretension of being more clever than it needed to be. This is what super hero movies should be.

Starship Troopers

Such a brilliant satire of our country’s endless thirst for war. Verhoeven is a master.

Chronicles of Riddick

Just as over the top as I remembered, but I always forget Helen Mirren was in it. This is the start of their love affair. (Drew later told me this was actually Dench)

The Town

Saw this heist thriller when it first came out, and it held up.

Martyrs

Yow. That was a bizarre and brutal film.

Scanners

Somehow I hadn’t ever seen this absolute banger of a movie about telepathy and telekinesis. It’s delightfully Canadian and I’m sure inspired many an anime.

After Midnight

A way more interesting and charming film than I expected. A monster film cover for a movie about relationships and growing together.

Jolt

A goofy, but fun-enough action film.

The Master

Why did we need the Joker when we already had this? A true weird PTA classic.

Drug War

A brutal, non-stop cop procedural. Guns akimbo? Yup. Betrayal and tons of Buicks? You bet.

High Tension

I forgot how fucked-up this is, and that they used Muse songs for the soundtrack.

Blackhat

This is my second viewing with my first on opening night. They should’ve called this movie “Himbo Hacker”. This is the only movie I can think of with a dramatic scene where someone types ‘ls’ and also ‘cat’ in a terminal. As hokey as the whole thing is, the action slaps, and it’s a fun action romp.

Midnight Special

What a cool movie! What’s left unshown and unsaid kept this taunt and fun. Shannon spoke volumes with his eyes, and even the kid managed gravitas without falling into the haley joel trap. I don’t remember hearing about this movie at the time, but I think it deserves more hype.

Gunpowder Milkshake

On it’s face, this was made for me, but sadly it was a substanceless and somehow joyless exercise.

Censor

I had very little idea what was going on towards the end of this. Generally, I dug the vibe though.

No Sudden Move

A really outstanding cast made this a delight from start to finish. Full of fun twists and a brisk-moving story.

Synchronic

A cool time travel film about using drugs to wander around in the past and how that’s not a great plan because of racism. Very interesting and though it’s not quite the same wild as Primer or Los Cronoscriminos, it’s up there.

Insidious

A spooky, but not very good horror film.

The Tomorrow War

I like the version of the world where enough people watch soccer worldwide that folks use the World Cup to announce vital information. I don’t like a world where a few heroes save the world after the governing bodies don’t help. Climate change is a collective problem and needs collective solutions. Also this is a fun movie so whatever.

Fast 7

A big ‘ol sob of an ending and a really fun movie.

Werewolves Within

A pretty perfect horror comedy. Sam Richardson is seriously talented, and if you haven’t seen Detroiters, get on that. The beats were great, everyone was doing a lot, and I laughed throughout.

Come to Daddy

Elijah Wood seems to only take fun projects in a post-LOTR world, and I love it. His 2017 film I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Again, Wilfred, voice-acting in Miyazaki films, and now this short bowl cut and hooded-cape weirdo film are such a nice career pivot.

Demon Slayer: Mugen Train

More like a few episodes than a cohesive film, this got me stoked for season 2.

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

I’ve seen this one the most besides the first because I got to see it in Japan before it came out in the states. That was a strange experience so it’ll always stick with me.

Resident Evil 2-5

Hokey but fun.

Resident Evil

Classic.

Red Dawn

The original was a classic schlocky action film, and this one was an alright action remake. I don’t know if Chris Pine can live up to Kurt Russell generally, but if you want to see him try, this is a film for it.

Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

I’m a sucker for this very silly series. I love how much they malign and hate on the spectre of “satanists”. Walter Bishop from Fringr is in this and that was a nice surprise.

Saw 3

The first three films in this series are in the perfect uncanny valley of bad fashion. I should listen to the Why Are Dads episode now that I’ve made it through because John is an absolutely insufferable dad.

Saw 2

I forgot the kid from Continuum was in this. Overall, this sequel was a lot schlockier now that we know what the whole Saw deal is like. The nü-metal at the end dates this more than anything else could.

Saw

I think I watched this shortly after it came out, but it’s still wild to see Ben from Lost, Danny Glover, and the man in the mask from Princess Bride. This is a classic absurd horror thriller, and this rewatch begins my staycation of Saw.

Chappie

Despite being very silly at times, this was a fun movie that explored consciousness and the ideas of a learning AI. I think folks were disappointed because it wasn’t serious at all times, but this played out like a cool sci-fi short story.

Together, Together

Hilarious and deeply touching. I love this look at an unlikely friendship and the complexity of pregnancy. Plus, Patti Harrison fucking owns.

Free Fire

Just a wild ride from start to finish. Watching everything go to shit, then get worse was a delight.

Chaos Walking

This felt like the first few episodes of a longer show, and not really a whole films. I enjoy Mads just doing weird shit though. When I first saw stills for this I thought it was that Hideo Kojima game.

Riders of Justice

A fantastic black comedy one part John wick, and one part Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. A truly weird and fun film. More Mads please.

Army of the Dead

I’m not a Snyder fan, but he’s made two good zombie films and this is one of them. Silly, fun, and full of excitement.

Pacific Rim: Uprising

Fun and silly, like what a Transformers move could’ve been if they weren’t such hot trash.

Dead Man Down

Meh

Set It Off

Queen Latifah should’ve gotten a massage and romance scene. This is a classic heist movie, and after hearing EPM talk about it I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it before.

Oxygen

A movie set in tight quarters reminiscent of when Green Lantern got buried in that one movie with just a lighter.

Green Zone

I still find it abhorrent we destroyed a country for no real reason. Matt Damon plays a hapless but passionate action man well.

Patriot Games

Ah, the good old days of bad guy Sean Bean. This continues my tour of Harrison Ford classics, and I’d forgotten all the talent in this film. A good spy thriller and Ford makes a much better Ryan than Jim from the office.

Without Remorse

I’ve been on a Harrison Ford kick lately and looking forward to reexploring his foray into the dad fiction of Tom Clancy, so it’s lovely seeing Michael B. Jordan so thoroughly take on the mantle of spyman John Clark. Action trash delight.

Relic

A real House of Leaves-esque situation. Is this perhaps a prequel to Under the Skin?

Really though this was a deeply scary, haunting film about aging and our responsibility to our loved ones.

In the Earth

A wild film that somehow manages to combine pandemic fear with supernatural mushroom horror. Excellent. Two fun tastes that taste great together.

Searching

An interesting way to tell a story but I think the reliance on computer footage hindered the overall story, despite strong performances by Cho.

Training Day

A classic Denzel/Fuqua film that starts wild and gets so much wilder. The way Denzel delivers every line and just delivers looks is a delight every time. Ethan Hawke is fine in this but I don’t think he has the charisma to counter Denzel. Fun and disturbing, this is like a short-form The Wire, but in LA.

Unstoppable

Denzel Washington is too old for this shit, but not too old to stop a runaway train. This movie rules.

Sexy Beast

Realized halfway through this is a rewatch, but Winstone and Kingsley are wildly compelling regardless.

I Care a Lot

I love an anti-hero, and pretty much every person in this film is either horrible or an idiot, or all of the above. I also love a lesbian lead. This managed to be twisted and funny, and I really dug it.

Transsiberian

Look I love a train mystery. I remembered halfway through this I’ve seen it before.

The Mosquito Coast

What if dads but too much? This movie reminded me of some of the worst bits of my childhood. At least my dad never made us move to the jungle. They’re remaking this soon with Justin Theroux and I’m super excited to see how he channels the deranged dad energy. ICE IS CIVILIZATION.

Courier

Wow who knew the real story behind the font was this intense!

Nobody

A blast from start to finish. This is the best action comedy since True Lies.

Gone Girl

Imagine if Tyler Perry had played Madea in this movie but with the same character and level of seriousness. I think at a fundamental level a movie that imagines “what if a woman fakes domestic abuse” is dangerous, but otherwise as a film this was solid. Rosamund Pike was great as a nightmarish villain though.

Sorcerer

You’ve seen the Fast & Furious, but what about the Slow & Simmering? For a movie largely about trucks driving below 10mph, this was a thrill ride. I should rewatch Seaquest.

Under the Skin

Haven’t seen this since it came out, but the moody slow build and austere soundtrack are haunting.

Bad Trip

Planes, Trains, and incredibly wild scenes. The restaurant scene was a standout, but so many bits of this movie were amazing.

Godzilla vs. Kong

Explosions, huge monster fights, and a surprisingly great cast having a good time. Ideal summer entertainment. I guess I’ve seen every film in the “monsterverse” now, and this was maybe the most fun? Long live Godzilla, the KoM.

Wet Hot American Summer

A delightful rewatch. I forgot how many amazing actors were in this at the start of their career, with absurdist performances from Michael Ian Black, Bradley Cooper, and David Hyde Pierce. All the little bits, and the kids’ reactions to them are hilarious. A classic. smashing pottery sounds

Safe House

Old spy/young spy. Not quite a Bourne or a Le Carré, but it was a fun thriller even though I can’t quite take Ryan Reynolds seriously.

Dante’s Peak

This is a more focused predecessor to one of my all-time favorite movies, 2012. James Bond does a science, while Sarah Conner slings espresso and does mayor stuff. This move made me afraid of volcanos and hot springs and also children driving. If there’s a genre called “my boss didn’t beleive me until it was too late” this is firmly part of it.

The Last Black Man in San Francisco

The colors and light in this film are unbeleivable. Utterly gorgeous. Jimmie Fails and Jonathan Major had incredible screen chemistry, with their performances tied together with long pans. I can’t wait to see more Jimmie Falls in films.

Oblivion

Somehow I hadn’t seen this until tonight. A delightful Tom Cruise sci-fi with a pretty predicitable twist, and really goofy goggles. A+

Sentinelle

A nice and tight action film. The fights were well-coreographed, and there just wasn’t much fat to trim. Fast, fun, and chill.

Shadow in the Cloud

A hat on a gremlin on a hat. This movie was initially kind of interesting, and seemed like it would be a straight-up tale of misogyny in the sky, but then the gremlin showed-up, and the zeros, and it just kept going.

The Fugitive

I hadn’t seen this since the 90s, and it really holds up. Ford and Jones amp up the tension and make every scene worth watching. Classic.

Space Sweepers

I’d heard this described as a life action Cowboy Bebop, but sadly it has much less style and substance. Parts of the world building were cool, but why did they have to add a farting child?

Barb and Starr Go to Vista Del Mar

My friend texted me to say he was cackling watching this–it was ok funny, but I didn’t know it would be a “silly” musical. I don’t really know what this kind of comedy is called, but it’s not my thing. It’s like Ace Ventura meets Marshall’s with some real Paul Blart 2 vibes.

The Little Things

I don’t know if I can ever take the sheriff from True Blood seriously, or even Rami Malek. Denzel, as usual, is an imposing figure who oozes charm while methodically saving a crime.

The Thing

The remake isn’t the same level of incredible that the original was, but it’s still a pretty great alien film. I loved seeing a bunch of folks who went on to be in lots of TV shows and other things I hasn’t seen when I originally saw this film.

Monster Hunter

I don’t know what I expected from a movie based on a game with no plot. The three stars are solely bc I love jovanovich and also every action scene was absurd and delightful.

Minari

A gorgeous, sad, and brutal portrait of trying to make family and a dream work out. The cinematography and soundtrack were a perfect pairing to one of the cutest kids in cinema, and an outstanding performance by Yuen and Youn Yuh-jung. This movie was so good it conquered my Texan’s dislike of Oklahoma.

The Dig

A rather interesting film about excavating a ship from a mound in rural Suffolk.Theres a wild WW2 backdrop, and a lot of Fiennes looking pensive as all getout. Everyone is in love with someone they shouldn’t be, and I kept hoping the kid was actually from the future.

Insomnia

Robin Williams is so good in this. I haven’t seen Insomnia since opening weekend, and also forgot it was a Nolan. I still need to watch the original. This is a great view of Pacino slowly losing his mind. I had this a little confused with One Hour Photo so I kept expceted a scene to take place at a CVS or something.

The Prestige

The one time Wolverine and Batman worked together with David Bowie to make powerful magicks. I honestly forgot this was a Nolan film, but I’ve loved it every time I’ve watched it. Just so fun and clever. I wonder how Golem’s cats are doing?

Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Easily the best movie I’ve seen in a long time. The level of kindness and empathy for the challenge of being a young woman in the world is outstanding. Really incredible performances from Flanagan and Ryder with a candid view of how amazing Planned Parenthood is to top it off. The focus on women caring for each other was spot-on.

The Bourne Supremacy

In the world there is only one good supremacy: the Bourne kind. Brian Cox rules in this, but I wish Julia Stylse and Franka Potente had more to do. I’m rewatching this series and it’s mostly holding-up.

Our Little Sister

I love Koreeda movies because they so beautifully humanize a great deal of pain. From his slow pans, to the way he shot the room to make you feel part of the family, this movie ruled.

The Lost City of Z

It turns out the story of this movie’s protagonist was much more racist and absurd than presented here. The vaporization of bullshit explorers of other people’s lands is a bummer. This was well-shot despite apparent massive innacuracies. Pattinson did a solid job.

Yes, God, Yes

A delightful look at a religious youth that was spot-on. I wish I had a cool dyke bar to escape to from youth retreat, but otherwise this was pretty much what creepy youth camps were like. Dyer is excellent, and Simons perfectly inhabits a shitty priest.

Promising Young Woman

Woah. I think I’ll have to rewatch this to really get the full impact, but this was intense and Cary Mulligan was fantastic.

The Platform

This was an interesting psychological sci-fi. We never learned why he brought a book.

Strange Negotiations

Hoo boy this took me back. I saw Pedro the Lion play every year for a while back in Austin, and his break with the religion he was raised with matched-up with mine. This was a sweet and sad documentary about how lonely the road can be, and the life of a medium-famous rock musician.

Exit

Tried to watch this on a night I was sleepy, and reader, it did not keep me awake. Good, but it’s in the uncanny valley of the past.

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

Is this in the MCU? One of my favorite parts is when someone cites military legal code and a short while later a woman says “is there still an Internet cafe around here?” I’m pretty sure reacher would still need to go to court for a lot of murder.

Paradise Hills

Mills Jovavich rules. This movie is kind of a mess, but points for a bit of queerness and a strong aesthetic. You just don’t see a lot of bondage gear in white these days. Also, milk is always sinister and gross.

The Operative

For a spy film this left a lot on the table. There were some pretty tense scenes but I’ve seen Kruger do much cooler stuff. I’m looking forward to the next season of Tehran to get my fill of Mossad spy stuff.

Enemy

Villneuve is wild. This was definitely the strangest of his films I’ve seen so far, but I loved the yellow-tinged madness.

2020

153 Movies

The Vast of Night

A fun 50s-set sci-fi. The weird TV framing didn’t really go anywhere, but other than that the film was a tightly-shot and enticing story.

The Snowman

I’d heard how horrible this was before I dove in, but I’ve also read the book, so I found it not very confusing at all. There’s like, two twists? I don’t know. This weemed like a pretty straightforward nordic noir.

The Circle

Entirely too heavy-handed, and kind of a waste of both Tom Hanks, Jon Boyega, and Karen Gillan. I wish more folks thought that tech was this evil though. By trying to make a more mass-market Black Mirror, it got a bit overwrought.

Another Round

Is it a good idea to be low-key drunk all day every day? This movie aims to answer that eternal question. Perhaps the answer is getting drunk sometimes, but not enough to wreck your life? Mads dances really well.

Suspiria

I love modern dance a lot more when it’s a satanic ritual. The original Suspira is a masterpiece, but I really liked this strange homage. The music was excellent, and Dakota Johnson was haunting. I wonder if Tilda had it in her contract she would only do the film if she could Albert Nobbs it up.

Fantastic Fungi

I love the mushroom internet. Also this movie made me want to ingest a certain drugge mushroom. Every mycologist and enthusiastic mushroom person was a delight in this documentary. Neat.

Doctor Sleep

I’m still not sure that the Shining needed a sequel, but this was pretty fun Stephen King fare.

The Invisible Man

Absolutely thrilling, and utterly terrifying. The gaslighting in this film felt incredibly real. I loved that it took a typical horror trope and turned it into a character study of a woman desparate to be believed. Excellent film.

WW84

A friend on Twitter suggested this was basically a Doctor Who Christmas special, and yep! It was also the story of a single dad learning that nothing is free inside capitalism. Kristen Wiig was good.

You’re Next

This was fine? I dunno. I kinda zoned-out a lot but there was a lot of murder and an Australian lead actor lady.

Peppermint

A holiday revenge film that never answers the question: “how did this mom become special ops trained in five years?”

The Midnight Sky

This was alright. I’m a bit disappointed Sunu bc so many of the actors are usually outstanding. I can’t tell if they filmed this during COVID, but that would make sense for it since there were like 6 people total.

Greenland

The diabetic son was a hat on a hat, but I guess they needed a plot reason besides perimeter breaches and explosions to make the back half of this movie work. I generally love a disaster film, but this does little to unseat my favorite nightmare: 2012. “Small molten debris” was a highlight. I will say that the utter disorganization and nightmarish bureaucracy of the whole thing really tracks with the USA I know though.

Leave No Trace

Started hiking more often recently, and so I figured it was finally time to revisit the majestic Forest Park in cinematic form. This was a pretty sad film.

Inception

Another rewatch in my Nolan-spree. This was also excellent, and I’d forgotten how cool the set-pieces were, especially the Bond-esque snow mountain. I wonder if Nolan wanted to make a bond and someone told him no? I’m glad they did, because I like the weird shit he makes instead.

Dunkirk

For a Nolan film this was surprisingly straightforward. I wasn’t familiar with this battle until watching Dunkirk, but it was definitely different to see a film that depicts a retreat. Brutal, and hopeful.

Interstellar

Rewatched this gorgeous film for the umpteenth time. There are so many heartbreaking moments about fatherhood and trust that it always hits me pretty hard. For a movie that’s almost three hours, it’s a tribute to how great it is that I always want to rewatch. Because of the practical effects I feel like it will likely look fresh for decades to come.

Tenet

Definitely not worth getting sick over, but at home? With my own whiskey? With Snorri? Yea, this was fucking sick. Since ignorance is ammunition all I will say is I enjoyed this film greatly and immediately started it again.

Sea Fever

A tightly plotted, claustrophobic film about slowing losing your shit on a boat. Someone else described it as “X-Files before Mulder and Scully arrived” and that seems pretty apt. There’s a little bit of The Thing in here too. A lot of creeping dread.

Queer Japan

As a foreigner who spends a month or so in Japan every year, and as a queer woman, I really enjoyed this documentary. I loved that they chatted with trans folks, HIV+ folks, and disability rights folks. One man described Japan’s discrimination as “soft shell”, and I think I get a lot more of why that is after seeing this film. They even covered the strong anti-racism movement in Japan fighting against nationalism. This documentary was a delight. It also made me miss hanging with my queer friends in Osaka quite a bit, or singing karaoke with a bunch of cool weirdos in Ni-Chome.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

The atmospheric style of this movie is incredible. I love the slow build and tension, with its tight plotting. Oldham makes an excellent Smiley, and generally everyone is just a delight. RIP Le Carre. Also the soundtrack of this film is excellent.

Black Bear

Aubrey Plaza is a singular emotional rollercoaster in this twisty film. I still don’t know how I feel about it, but it’s definitely something I’ll sit with for a while. It’s at turns incredibly painful to watch, and hilarious.

The Taking of Pelham 123

Ah, I love a Walter Matthau movie. There’s certainly a lot of language/behavior that doesn’t hold up, but this is a real classic heist movie.

The Bourne Identity

What if Jason was just gaslighting everyone for the whole film, and he only pretended to have amnesia bc he hated his job? Great action, great car chase, and a really good haircut given to Franka Potente. I love a good spy thriller. The closing Moby track still slaps.

Black Christmas

Ah, I love Imogen Poots. She’s great in everything she’s in, but I’m definitely glad she’s not her character from Green Room in this. A horror film that tackles the terrible world of reporting and holding men accountable for rape and the challenge of female solidarity in the patriarchy. College is the worst; never pledge.

The Good Shepherd

I forgot i’d seen this in theaters back in 2006. Matt Damon is very serious, and Eddie Redmayne is yet to make his finest film: Jupiter Ascending. His lips still worry me greatly. I think Angelina Jolie tried to look dowdy but it’s not possible. Spies always have cool glasses. There should’ve been more Lee Pace.

Lucy in the Sky

I had no idea what to expect with this film, but it was certainly surprising. The last thing I expected was for it to be way closer to that astronaut lady who wore adult diapers and drove across the country to get revenege. Googling just now, apparently that story was the inspiration for this movie. Wild. Since this movie has Legion in it, I guess it’s also part of the marvel universe.

Happiest Season

This was disappointing. A more astute lesbian friend suggested this movie should’ve leaned inrto quirky indie-ness or fully into Meet the Parents schlock. It did neither. The ignored sister would’ve been much better as a butch woman.

Centigrade

After a very cold night camping, I decided to watch this movie about slowly freezing to death in your car in Norway. I’m super glad I get to watch this with some wine and a wool blanket. Being super cold sucks! For a movie completely set inside a car, this is pretty well-shot and compelling. It was based on true events, I guess, but the whole baby thing was a hat on a hat.

Paul Blart Mall Cop 2

I watched this because of Til Death Do Us Blart after listening to the cursed podcast for a few years now. Somehow it was both different and worse than I had imagined based on the podcast. Long live the shadow man.

#alive

Ah, a simple zombie film updated for a world with social media. This was fun.

Objectified

It’s interesting watching this again 11 years after it came out. I’m once again using A MacBook Air, and I understand the Muji designer way better. I wonder how many CAD designers are still using 24" square displays?

Night Moves

The movie where Zuck gets really into direct action. “Killing all the salmon so you can run your fucking iPod whenever you want”. It’s really a shame he went back to running his nightmarish company after this. There’s a delightful Griffin Newman role near the end too.

All About Lily Chou-Chou

This is one of my all-time favorite films, but I hadn’t watched it in probably 10 years. Fortunately, it more than holds up as a sad and beautiful tale of shitty teen life. It’s a brutal film because kids can be cruel.

Johnny Mnemonic

Ah, a 90s cyber classic. Somehow I’d never seen this before today! Ice T with upside-down paintball goggles! Beat Takeshi! Udo Kier’s trans body guard! A military internet dolphin!! I would love to see this screenplay get remade.

The Wolf of Snow Hollow

Ostensibly a horror film, but mostly about a man’s alcoholism and what it’s done to his family and his life. Interesting take on the genre.

Mortal Engines

A fun YA-turned film. I don’t usually like Hugo Weaving but his big character acting worked for this. I didn’t expect much, so I had a good time.

Tokyo-Ga

It’s wild to see how little Tōkyō has changed since the 80s–or rather the bits of Shōwa that still peek through. This was a gorgeous look at both the Tōkyō that once was, and the echo of 50s and 60s Americana that lived in the youths of the time. I also learned quite a bit about Ozu, and how he filmed. Loved it.

Columbus

Gorgeous and sad. Two people meeting while their lives are paused for their parents and sharing a love of architecture without building a romance. The pace was pretty slow, but I like this kind of slice of life film.

The New Mutants

As a fan of the comic series and a few of these characters, I like that they tried to give them a horror story beginning, but ultimately it felt constrained. I’m disappointed that this won’t be part of the MCU or integrated with the X-Men. The comics are having a heyday, but for some reason the movies are still just not there.

アキラ

子供の時に私はアキラが一番好きので、十回の見た。特に今はそのちょっと変な映画、で も大好きの。昭和の有名映画と最高アニメと思う I watched this a bunch as a kid. It’s super weird but it really holds up. A true classic.

The Wolf of Wall Street

After the painfully sad movie about the hundreds of thousands who lost their lives in tsunamis, I dove deep into this three hour epic of utterly nightmarish depravity. DiCaprio plays what a friend calls Catch Me If You Can 2 very well:

The Impossible

The real lesson of this movie is that in 2004 kids were satisfied with only getting a red ball for Christmas. This is also a Spider-Man origin story. Brutal movie generally though.

Possessor

For context, I’ve loved the concept of assassins since I was a little girl, as odd as that might sound. A movie wherein an assassin mind-syncs with a random person to do their business is thusly fascinating. The horror of that connection and the challenge of doing your job basically in a coma with all of the gore and wildness that entails was thrilling. I love the obvious skill growth since Antiviral as well.

Election

Not sure how I hadn’t seen this yet. A delight. I love the successful lesbian sideplot, and how Broderick’s character fully self-destructs out of hate of a precocious child. Fantastic.

Proxima

It’s hard to be a divorced mom while you’re an astronaut. Luckily, Eva Green is still super cool. At this point I’m curious if it’s a contractual thing to show her breasts once every 20 minutes? Instead of a movie about space, this was more of a movie about space-prep.

The Dark Knight

Ah, Heath Ledger. When this was made no one thought the joker was a hero, and yet, he became a bummer symbol for folks years later. It’s still weird to me that they switched actresses suddenly, but Queen Latifah is hard to resist, so I get it.

Enola Holmes

A fun movie to watch while waiting for these damnable election results. Millie Bobby Brown plays a great younger Holmes, while Cavill is an oddly fit Sherlock. The action moved briskly, and the little asides and jokes were charming. I’m here for a low-stakes adventure anytime.

Batman Begins

This is probably the fourth or fifth time I’ve seen this movie and it’s still such a blast. I wish it were easier to hear anything Batman says, but otherwise a delight.

She Dies Tomorrow

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but this is a very art film vibe with a slow horror built-in. It definitely didn’t fit my mood tonight, but I’m not sure if that’s the film’s fault. Perhaps I should’ve stuck with schlock.

Earthquake Bird

The vibe of 80s Japan is a whole thing. So much hip Japanese literature I’ve read is firmly grounded in Showa-era Japan, so this felt a bit like watching a multi-cultural Murakami story. It’s rare to see a movie or show in both Japanese and English (Giri/Haji) comes to mind. I wish they’d worked with Vikander a bit more on her Japanese though.

Last Holiday

Heard about this from an Election Profit Makers bonus episode and honestly, I loved it. Sometimes you need something funny, kind, and hopeful. Thanks, last holiday, for soothing my nerves.

Zodiac

This was my 3rd of 4th rewatch. I’m a sucker for a slow burn Fincher film. I was still low-key mad that the other movie I watched today wasn’t a crime film, so I had to dive into one. Everything about this movie is so wild and well-executed.

Sinister

Fellow-Austin native Ethan Hawk slowly loses his mind while trying to write true-crime. If only he’d known you could just do a podcast instead! The worst ever character from the Wire is also in this. Overall, not very spooky but it leans a lot on goofy jump scares. Nice use of Boards of Canada though.

The Phantom Menace

Dammit Blank Check why did I do this to myself in order to listen to your commentary track. Seriously though, the 10 episodes about the only entry in Star Wars that was ever made were excellent. Thank you for the bonkers good time.

Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula

There’s no train in this one, despite the title that I think was used to make sure us goofy Americans realize it’ related to the previous film. I loved the taxi lady. This film had more of a Mad Max vibe than the original which was fun.

Train to Busan

Continuing the zombie movie rewatches, I threw this on in order to remind myself what it was like before watching the sequel that just came out. It’s just as good as I remember it, though I fundamentally don’t like “fast” zombies. Zombies should shamble. The wild melee of this film is a very different kind of fear than the slow horror of inexorable zombie overrunning of your position.

World War Z

A more intense pandemic movie. I’ve watched this three or four times, and it still manages to be one of the more interesting and compelling zombie action films. By throwing out the creeping dread for a much more agoraphobic zombie fear, this movie makes me glad I stay inside.

Blackhat

This movie dares to ask the bold question: “can a himbo code?” I don’t understand why most of the terrible coding examples are windows INF or registry files, but hey, it’s fun and stupid. I think this was also the first film I saw where it was obvious that US action films are now mostly funded by Chinese financiers.

Collateral

I think I’ve seen this before, but didn’t remember much. I love the extremely tight shots inside the cab, and the real LA traffic vibe. This is the same LA time period as the L Word.

Borat Subsequent

A hoot. This wasn’t nearly as salacious as the build-up implied, but there were some big laughs, and a surprisingly endearing lock-in with some Q Anon weirdos. I wish they’d gotten more Pence action.

Save Yourselves!

The initial cast was a reprise of the friends from Search Party, so one could almost imagine this was an alternate reality retelling. Fortunately, this movie morphs into a cute and weird duo alien invasion story pretty quick instead.

The Trip to Italy

Unlike the first Trip film I’ve never seen this one before. I like how Coogan’s character has changed it up a bit, and generally this film felt friendlier. I’m excited for the next two.

Jennifer’s body

The entire movie I just kept thinking, “what! They’re in this too?!” I missed this movie back in the day and I think it was largely maligned, but it’s a near weird little horror film. It only takes around 15 minutes to get creepy, and then it goes off the rails in the most weird ways. Even JK Simmons was in this! Amy Sedaris! The lesson here is: don’t trust scene kids, just stick with your best friend. The men in this film are the real monsters, obviously.

Vampires vs The Bronx

A fun horror film about gentrification with a great cameos from folks like Zoe Saladaña and The Kid Mero. Truly a great time.

The Assistant

I didn’t know much about this going in, only that it was well-regarded. Julia Garner is outstanding in an incredibly brutal film about a sexually abusive and horrible movie producer that definitely wink wink isn’t based on anyone who is currently serving 23 years in prison.

Evangelion 1.11 & 2.22

A friend watched Evangelion for the first time recently, and I was reminded I never got around to watching these remakes/retellings. Really, really weird, but in a new ways. I kind of like that they cut out many of the extraneous slice-of-life stuff.

Ava

I love an assassin film, but this one managed to make everything feel a bit smaller and more banal. Pretty forgettable with the stakes of a lifetime drama but the fight scenes of an action film.

Wall E

Super cute and dystopic. I love this movie so much.

Mr. Jones

This was nothing like that Counting Crows song, but it was excellent. I didn’t know this story before watching the film, but fuck. I wish Vanessa Kirby had more to do, but I suppose that’s the issue with historical fiction.

The Long Dumb Road

A great buddy road movie. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is one of my all-time favorite movies and this channels the delightful failures and wonderful moments of the genre perfectly. I should’ve watched this a while ago.

Blade Runner: 2046

This held up though I wanted more McKenzie Davis scenes. Also! I forgot Ana de Armas was in this. Neat.

Mission Impossible 6

Outstanding! After a little bit of a slump in 5, six was back to the wild heights of 4. The HALO jump was nuts, especially after looking into how they filmed it. I can’t stand Alec Baldwin, but everyone else in this is dope. A+ helicopter scenes as well. There’s car, and motorcycle chases, and even some outstanding Tom Cruise runs.

The Da Vinci Code

A real stinker, but silly enough to watch over a phone call with a pal. Ian McKellan was the best part of this film, with a close second being Bettany’s ability to look tortured and have sexual tension with literally everyone in every scene.

Mission Impossible 5

A fifth movie and a fifth director. Renne is back, which I’d forgotten, and also this movie brings some truly wild times. This is the first time the IMF goes up against the Syndicate, and has a kinda fun Opera battle. There’s no huge building this time, but there was a big swimming scene.

Mission Impossible 4

Benji, you fucking did it–you’re out in the field. I’m pretty glad Simon Pegg became a series regular, and especially glad that barely anyone else from earlier in the series didn’t. I do wish Keri Russell would come back though, bc she’s cool. Also this one has Stellar Skateboard.

Mission Impossible 3

Aw, yea… JJ Abrams is here with Felicity and that guy that’s in everything he makes! This was a really fun time at the movies. So many printable face masks! Phillip Seymour Hoffman! Tom Cruise running! A terrible love story! Also, who can forget the ridiculous [Nokia phones](https://www.firstpost.com/tech/news-analysis/mission-impossible-3-on- nokia-n93-3549677.html) they used in this.

Mission Impossible 2

Definitely not as good as the first. John Woo is great, but some of his signature shots and slo-no effects just come off kinda silly in this.

Mission Impossible

What a blast from the past. The special effects were largely practical, which means they aged well, but the computer interfaces are delightfully 90s. I can’t believe how much this series has upped itself every incarnation, but this first one is still just a nice small-scale spy film.

The Trip

I’ve enjoyed Coogan since the Day Today sketches he did with Chris Morris, so it’s fascinating to see him age and keep doing odd versions of himself on film. Rob Brydon is excellent in this, and I’m reminded I should rewatch the entirety of Gavin & Stacey. If you want to see two middle-aged men making very stupid (but funny) jokes and impressions while sampling haute cuisine in the north of England, this is your chance.

Class Action Park

I don’t know how I survived the 80s and 90s. I did a lot of really, really stupid and dangerous shit, even if I never got to go to Action Park. We had Schiltterbahn where I grew up, which was way less wild, but still pretty dangerous at times. This film does a good job of showing the teen thrills of incredibly shady theme parks.

Boys State

I can’t stand the little conservative assholes. Steven Garcia was chill though. Also, it’s surreal to see how far right everyone went out of an assumption that other kids would be conservative, despite that being somewhat untrue. I went to UT as well, and it was pretty nostalgic to see Clark Field and other spots I spent a lot of time on film.

Jack Reacher

Not the best of the Tom Cruise action franchises, but fun enough. Light on action till the end.

Genocidal Organ

I watched this a while ago before I read the book. It’s kind of a fascinating, if quite gory, look into what we do for “security” and how our definitions of other are constructed.

Nightcrawler

Despite a lack of blue skin or a tail, Gyllenhaal embodied a character just as bizarre and rigidly pursuant of his beliefs. Deeply strange film.

Violent Cop

This is a rewatch, but I think it’s been at least 15 years since this first time I saw it. Beat Takeshi is a treasure. This movie is delightfully filmed. I kinda love the 80s Japanese film look, which is more reminiscent of TV than film. A classic

An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn

I hope folks had fun making this movie… it felt like everyone was trying a little to hard. This felt like an extended Tim & Eric skit. Everything was just off.

Sputnik

I thought this would take place in space, but it’s mostly a fairly tight alien captive story. Enjoyable but not too wild or original.

The Rental

Ok, I’m glad I don’t have to stay in any Airbnbs soon after seeing this creepy movie. Whether it’s spycams, or the slow dawning realization that someone is watching, the way the vacation unfolds in this film is super scary.

Alien: Covenant

Ah, I love this ridiculous sequel to Prometheus. I think it captures the creeping horror of Alien and Aliens quite well, and is chock full of cool actors. I hope Scott keeps making solid Alien films for a while to come.

Contact

Still liked this movie, but the weird romance plot was uncomfortable AF. Also the way religion tied into it was hamfisted.

2:22

Watched this so I can enjoy this week’s How Did This Get Made. It wasn’t great, and tried a little too hard to be clever without actually being entertaining.

John Wick 1-3

Rewatched all the John Wick movies out of a desire for action and style, and they delivered. This series isn’t super substantive, but it’s an action movie smorgasbord.

Prometheus

A deeply satisfying addition to the Alien canon. I’ve watched this move a number of times, and it continues to thrill me.

Barista

I don’t watch a lot of documentaries, but this was pretty fun if a little telegraphed. The only downside to this film is now I want coffee, but it’s 1130pm.

Ride Your Wave

The creator of Devilman Crybaby and The Tatami Galaxy made a really delightful anime about adulthood and love. It was gorgeous and pretty touching, even if it made me really wish I could fly somewhere again. There’s also a weird parallel between this show and every season of Terrace House: namely there’s surfing, and firefighters.

Money Plane

A true piece of crap. Everyone in this film seemed like they mostly work on Cinemax soft core films.

Spectre

A delightful rewatch.

6 Underground

Continuing my tradition of watching mediocre Netflix thrillers, I think I’m almost done with the current set. Ryan Reynolds is doing his sarcastic guy thing, and there’s tons of fast cuts and action stuff. The first action scene felt exciting for a bit, but by the twelfth hat-on-a-hat and shitty rock song I was hoping for relief. Fortunately it got better later, but I wish this’d been modeled more on Fast & Furious and less on xXx. I wonder if Bezos watched this and thought “I’ve trained for this!”?

Extraction

Thor trades his hammer for guns in this exciting action film without much behind the action. Sometimes you need to watch stuff get blown-up without much plot.

Time to Hunt

Outstanding thriller that kept building and moving throughout. I saw this on a sci-fi list, but for the most part this felt like a slightly alternate reality, vs something in the future. Very fun.

Bad Boys for Life

This series is epically ridiculous, and fun throughout. Everyone seems to be having fun, and there’s a lot of wild action and even a surprise third act trip out of the country.

The Old Guard

Fun but ultimately thin action flick. Solid action near the end, but so much of it felt emotionless in a way that was just not super entertaining.

Greyhound

Tom Hanks has a fantastic presence, but they don’t really develop many other folks in this tense battle movie. Which, hey, that makes sense, since the whole movie they’re just depth charging the shit out of the sea.

Bridge of Spies

A solid Spielberg feel-good negotiation thriller. I only knew a little about the U2 bomber and our history of capturing spies until I watched this film and dove into Wikipedia. This movie made me miss Berlin, which I’ve only visited once for a few weeks, but was delightful. If you enjoy the work of Tom Hanks, he does his thing well in this movie.

Gemini Man

I can only imagine a certain “religion” has also cloned Will Smith at some point. This was way more fun than it had a right to be, and weirdly enough the young Will CGI was pretty solid. How long until we see movies with young Cruise, or Washington? Have a bottle of wine and turn your brain off for 2 hours.

‌式日

This was a lot of movie. When I was younger I think I had more patience for particularly slow films, but I ended-up being a little distracted during 式日. I’m glad I finally got to watch it though, as it was pretty interesting seeing Iwai on the other side of the camera. Also I really miss being in Japan now.

Waiting for Guffman

Ah, a classic. It’s wild seeing Fred Willard in this looking so young comparatively. I watched this obsessively in high school and it really, really holds up.

Nightmare on Elm Street

Did you know Depp was in this? I certainly didn’t! This is the second movie I’ve watched because of the podcast The Scaredy Cats wherein one host of Reply All tries to help the other host inure himself to horror films. With all of the cultural cachet this movie had, it was interesting to see how quickly they showed Freddy himself. Freddy also seemed shorter than I imagined. I also always find it funny when all the “high school” actors are in their twenties. Why not just set it in college?

Upgrade

An interesting take on the post-human world. It’s a schlocky, funny, gory AF film, and not very into its own violence. Also it was rad to see Betty Gabriel from Get Out again.

Sonic the Hedgehog

Weird how much more low-key enjoyable this was than the last movie I watched. From the delightfully bad puns, to Jim Carrey having way too much fun, to Ben Schwartz just being himself, this was a nice Saturday afternoon romp. I went in expecting basically nothing, and was pleasantly surprised.

The Dead Don’t Die

This movie so badly wanted to be clever, it is the film equivalent to wearing a “funny shirt” from Hot Topic and explaining the joke to everyone before they can even laugh.

The Lodge

One of the better horror films I’ve seen in a while, with a very scary house, and an excellent secluded location.

Saturday Night

A fun documentary with rather overwrought camera-work that shows what preparing for and shooting SNL is like. It’s kinda wild to see the sheer number of writers and staff that make it come alive.

The Exorcist

Pretty creepy, with great special effects considering the time. I always root for the demons in any one of these, and definitely wondered while watching this how many more kids priests hurt than these imagined evil spirits. The devil, it turns out, was the church all along.

Vivarium

Started creepy, got way creepier. I appreciate the unwillingness to tell the viewer what the fuck is happening. This plays out like a great Ursula K Le Guin novel.

After the Storm

Koreeda is one of the best directors when it comes to presenting the sadly funny banality of life. I can’t fathom someone else who could present a deadbeat dad and dysfunctional family with such pathos. This isn’t quite as heartrending as Shoplifters, but it comes close.

Game Night

Just a good time. Everyone seemed like they were having a great time, and it hopped along at a good clip while keeping me laughing.

Hustlers

I love a good grift. I’m still low-key mad this wasn’t about a lesbian romance between J Lo and Constance Wu though.

The Commuter

A perfectly serviceable train thriller. Pretty fun.

Jumanji: Next Level

Have you ever wanted to see the Rock play Dan Devito? What about Jack Black playing a younger black guy? This movie was more bizarre than the last but hey, it was also fun.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

The extras’ costuming in this film is deeply strange, with a mix of “Indiana Jones pan-middle-east” and “Mad Max”. This whole film was a glorious mess, and I loved it.

The Guest

This was surprisingly funny and very bizarre. I really enjoy Dan Stevens, ever since his turn as Xavier’s son Legion.

Prisoners

In preparation for the eventual release of the new Dune film I wanted to familiarize myself with Villneuve’s ourve. This is a very good mystery film with a grittier Gyllenhal than his turn at Zodiac.

Rythym Section

A training montage revenge flick that slowly transforms into a pretty thrilling action movie.

Bloodshot

“I don’t mind the scars, I just don’t like the stories they tell.” With a time-to-tanktop of just under 5 minutes, you know from the jump this will be a new Diesel vehicle. This movie had it all: underwater tai-chi, weightlifting, Guy Pierce, and a drinking competition to hone in on Vin’s favorite shot. Of course, as a Chinese-financed movie, there’s no blood or sex or skeletons. Also why didn’t they put that one guy’s eyes in his head instead of on his chest?!

Radius

Interesting conceptually, but it didn’t really go anywhere besides the concept. It would’ve been better as an anime, lol.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

Well, fuck. That was gorgeous and sad. This movie built until my heart ached, and wove a story of falling in love.

Crawl

It’s no Underwater, but I guess if you want to see a great reason not to visit Florida, this is a perfect anti-ad.

Underwater

This turned out was cooler that i was expecting. Can’t say much more without spoiling anything.

General Magic

After seeing the fictionalized versions of many of these folks in Steve Jobs, and hearing so many stories about others–some of whom I’ve met–this was a really interesting look at a company that catalyzed much of what we use every day to live online.

Steve Jobs

Oh, hey, it’s Shiv! It’s kind of fascinating that the entire story is told through the lead-up to the presentations that implanted Steve Jobs in so many of our brains. I really enjoyed seeing this, and also think it’s funny this came out only 2 years after the Kutcher film. Also, Fassbender has a way cooler vibe that the actual Jobs… I mean, he’s Magneto!

The Social Network

One of the wildest things about this movie is the that Facebook’s valuation at the time of the credits rolling was only $25 billion. A few years later, it’s nearly 500 billion. I left Facebook 3 years before this film came out, and briefly returned while in Portland. I get the sense the characters in the film might be less likable in real life.

Apollo 13

Such a fantastic film. It’s surprising how well this held up, with many practical effects and no terrible CGI. It’s been 25 years and this one still had me on the edge of my seat.

Overlord

This felt a bit like a video game. Lots of nazis getting blown up? Weird underground lab? Strange NPCs? Check.

Birds of Prey

It’s a low bar, but this is definitely the best DCU movie since all the serious Nolan Batman films. Not only was it silly fun, it managed to build interesting characters and solid battles that put the overwrought CGI-fest of Avengers to shame. I hope if they make more of these they keep the formula. I really want to see a love story between Poison Ivy and Harley.

1917

A very intense movie but it was also beautiful in its own way. I get why this won awards. Weird cameo by Doctor Strange though.

The Martian

Another rewatch. I had a FaceTime call where my friend Lena and I discussed Halt and Catch Fire, which reminded me how much I enjoyed this film, which I took to be about the competence of McKenzie Davis’ character. This was my first time watching this movie in 4K though, which made it look pretty amazing. Also, I always forget Donald Glover was in this.

Skyfall

Perhaps one of the only movies to use a Land Rover Defender in a car chase, this is pure fun. The filming and action scenes were a wild step-up from the previous two films, and the stakes felt high throughout.

Quantum of Solace

Far less memorable than Casino Royale. The first chase was fun, but a lot of the rest of the film kinda just meanders. I do appreciate the little nods towards older James Bond films though.

Casino Royale

Rewatching this in preparation for the eventual release of the final Daniel Craig bond film. It holds pretty well, save for the hilariously old-looking Sony phones and bootcut khakis. I’d forgotten Mads Mikkelsen was in this.

Contagion

I saw this in the theater when it first came out, but I haven’t seen it since then. This felt like a timely movie considering our current circumstances. I forgot Jude Law plays a weird crank reporter.

Jojo Rabbit

A deeply strange film about learning how to be a person and unlearn fanaticism. There were some pretty excellent cameos in this, and a very dark comedic beat.

Phantom Thread

Wow, this movie was hilarious from top to bottom. A friend (hi Drew) invited me to see it for the first time in 70mm, and all I want to do is channel Woodcock every day. “What am I supposed to do with that?”. What a joy. I can’t wait to watch this again.

First Love

A strange mistaken gangster film. This was much more straightforward than many Takeshi Miike films, but still managed to add in some really bizarre bits, and even some surprises.

Elle

Yow. That was… a lot of movie. Isabelle Huppert was fantastic, but I don’t know if I could recommend it. Definitely one of the stranger Verhoeven movies I’ve seen.

Anna

Another lady assassin movie. It was a helluva ride and I enjoyed it. I don’t think it added anything huge to the genre, but I’m just glad to have more cool movies about tough women. That said, I wish Anna had been able to just be with her girlfriend instead of randomly fucking spymasters.

Genocidal Organ

I read the book this movie is based on last year, and it’s a truly brutal story of linguistics and massive unrest. This movie is grim in a way that feels a little too prescient. Definitely one of the better anime thrillers I’ve seen in a while though.

Psycho Pass Movie Trilogy

After season 3, Psycho Pass had a trilogy of films in Japan. They’re fun continuations of the characters from all three seasons, and a bit of a sequel to the first movie. The future this film presents is pretty grim, but the animation is fantastic.

Weathering With You

I found out I don’t need to worry about climate change because it’s just rain, ya know? This film was gorgeous and fun and o loved the cat in it with my entire heart.

Matrix: Reloaded

Really starting the year off right. We talked through most of the exposition, which was like 75% of the movie. I hadn’t seen this since it came out, and it really didn’t hold up.

The Lighthouse

The first thing I noticed in this film was the tight, constrained feel of a square frame with deep black and white images. I immediately had to look around for how this was made. The VVitch is one of my favorite movies of all time, and Eggers doesn’t disappoint in this haunting film either. The dread builds as the antipathy between the two men grows. A joy.

2019

74 Movies

Ford vs. Ferrari

A blast! I love car racing so much, and this film was a gorgeous vision of a famous showdown between an incredible car company, and Ford. I grew up hearing stories about Shelby, and this film brought him to life.

Uncut Gems

This was wild! From front to back this movie was a rollercoaster of poor decision-making and the world of vigs, 3 way parlay, and Kevin Garnet. Adam Sandler showed that he could really act in Punch Drunk Love, and he absolutely owns in Uncut Gems.

One Cut of the Dead

Without spoiling it, all I’ll say is this film went to fun places I didn’t expect, and was a delight throughout.

Psycho Pass

The episodes of this show already feel fairly cinematic, so stretching the show to nearly 2 hours felt right. It was super jarring to hear random English throughout the film though—at the start I thought I was accidentally watching a dub.

Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker

Frankly this post from Film Critic Hulk covered my feelings well. I described it as a movie trying to fellate itself. Scenes rarely got to breathe, and the movie felt packed with fan service and confusing backtracking from Last Jedi. Also wow, they just dropped a bunch of character storylines.

Ad Astra

Space Brad Pitt! We’ve sent most leading men to space, but never Pitt (I didn’t check this too carefully). Also this had Donald Sutherland, who is a personal favorite. I appreciate that none of the things in space made sound at least. Sad dads in space. It was pretty, and exciting, but ultimately didn’t really give me much to latch onto.

Ready or Not

Lol can’t wait to never get remarried. Rich people are the worst. Also it’s a real bummer that “satanists” get such a bad wrap in a world where the christians are the ones actually harming children. Fuck the satanic panic

Knives Out

Sadly, I wasn’t feeling great so I missed a bit of this, but I think I got all the important bits. I really want to see this again in the near future. The overall tone of the film was fantastic, and the comedic hits were delightful.

Second time emphasized how excellent this film was. A really great ride.

Fast Color

The preview of this movie had me hoping it was a potential adaptation of NK Jeminson’s Broken Earth trilogy, but alas, it wasn’t. Fortunately, it was still a fun movie about family and mutant powers. I wish there was a little more substance to the whole film, but on the upside, the mood was pretty interesting. Also it’s weird seeing a belter as a sheriff (please see the Expanse for more details).

Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives

I’ve had this on my to-watch list for years, and finally decided to dive in. It was a beautiful and strange mediation on life, death, and family.

Terminator: Dark Fate

A nice return to form. This felt like a nice natural extension to Terminator 2, and while it wasn’t a great film by any means, it was a fun romp with lots of goofy jokes, explosions, and Mackenzie Davis.

Edge of Tomorrow

This was a rewatch after a listening to a recent episode of the Incomparables. I have a special place in my heart for movies where Tom Cruise is supposed to be a tough guy, and if you add in mechanized suits? Hell yes. It’s not the best film, but it’s very fun.

In the Shadow of the Moon

A mid-flight watch on my way to Tokyo. Pretty interesting, engaging flick that gets weird.

Parasite

There isn’t a lot I can say about this without spoiling the whole endeavor, but suffice it to say this movie is incredible. There’s so much going on in every shot, and the actors performances are incredible. This is a rare movie that just keeps building and building throughout. Truly one of the best directors working.

What We Do in the Shadows

A rewatch of an utter classic of mockumentary. So many quotable lines and absurdly delightful scenes. The last word in vampire media.

The Art of Self Defense

The dialog delivery was definitely from the Yorgos Lanthimos school of deadpan, and the general vibe was extremely absurdist. I loved this film. Quite a bit of this movie was unexpected, and had me cracking up. A genuinely odd delight.

The Day Shall Come

An utterly bizarre and fantastic satire about the very real lengths the state goes to in order to prop up folks with no real chance of committing “terrorist acts”. It’s worrying watching this interview to get more behind the scenes of this film. Morris makes seriously strange stuff, and this is no exception.

High Life

Space dads! I don’t know if this is a genre, but perhaps it should be since Interstellar, High Life, and Ad Astra all appear to answer: “what if dads, but in space”. However there was a lot of assault in this film… it’s largely about felons being jettisoned into space, and artificial insemination experiments, it turns out. If you like very grim space movies, this might be for you.

Promare

A wild visual ride with a rather bizarre (it’s Trigger, naturally) story of fire people and the folks who fight them. There’s mecha, tons of goofy jokes, and even though it felt a little long, it was fun.

Eighth Grade

The idea of this movie made me very anxious. Middle school is rough, and I was on edge for most of the film wondering if something very bad would happen, or if Checkov’s AR-15 would reappear. Spoiler Alert No. There’re definitely some sad moments, and some very tender and sweet ones, but no one big terrible event occurs. This isn’t that kind of movie. Instead, Eighth Grade perfectly encapsulates how nervous and awkward we felt in our youth, and just how embarassed we were by our parents. I loved it.

Between Two Ferns

I love the parallel world of these bizarre and failed actors. I haven’t seen very many episodes of the web show, but this was pretty fun.

Aniara

TL;DR: Low-budget sci-fi cruise ship. This movie reminded me of a Twilight Zone episode, at least in its premise. I really enjoy movies where something goes horribly awry, and “what if we’re stuck in space forever” definitely meets that criteria, but unlike the Twilight Zone, there’s no big twist, just a slow sadness. There’s a certain charm to the fact that it’s Swedish as well. Plus, there’s space lesbians. We’re everywhere.

Mega Time Squad

Completely silly and fun. Low-budget time travel movies are often awesome (think Primer), but what if it was also a very low-brow comedy? Sweet as.

Booksmart

Wow, I really should’ve watched this in the theater. This movie ruled. Outstanding cast, hilarious from start to finish. I want so many more amazing comedies that center rad women. More. Lesbian. Characters. In. Everything.

Steven Universe: The Movie

I’m not super fond of musicals, and this was most certainly a musical. Generally, I’ve enjoyed Steven Universe, but more so when it’s weird, and not saccharine. This movie leaned more towards the latter, so it was cute, but not really my bag. If singing and supportive friendships are your favorite part of the show, you’ll love the movie. TL;DR your ex’s polycule adopts you.

Godzilla: King of Monsters

Ridiculous, but exactly what I expected. A bit of Godzilla, a bit of the Core. I’m fascinated by the idea that “eco-terrorists” have wide-reaching military power, lol. Shin Godzilla is still the best movie in the series, hands down, but this was a silly action romp.

MI-5

I fondly remember the British show Spooks, which ended in 2011. This movie was a nice reminder of the great things about that silly spy show.

Battle Angel Alita

I read this comic when I was younger, and it’s kind of neat to see it made into a live action film. I still can’t get over the uncanny valley eyes that Rose Salazar’s character had, or the goofy “love story”. Overall, this was a fun action film.

The Predator

I’ve seen folks watching this on a bunch of planes in the past year or so, and as a long-time fan of the Predator, I entered into it grudgingly. The first two films were tight thrillers, but at this point, I can’t tell what the series wants to be. If you can watch this for free, I guess it’s ok?

Bad Times at the El Royale

This was fun enough, with a pretty good ensemble cast. Nothing really stuck out as excellent, and in a few ways it felt like a less-ambitious Tarantino film.

The Quake

A good reminder that disaster movies don’t need to have the glitz and glam of a big budget Hollywood film. This sequel to The Wave was rather slowly-paced, but exciting as it picked up steam.

Killing of a Sacred Deer

Wow, this was an eerie film. At this point I’ve enough of Yorgos Lanthimos’ films that I enter into them thinking “what’s the strange twist?” This film delivered on that quite well. I love the strange, flat performance Lanthimos actors provide—they lure you into this world with everything just a bit off. Also the young man in the film was haunting.

First Reformed

I went into this movie thinking “it’s about religion and maybe climate change”. That covers it to a degree, but beyond that is so much truth and sadness. This was a grim, beautiful film that struck me right at the core—both as an ex-religious person, and someone who often mourns for the end of life for so many folks effected by climate change. The movie, at it’s core, asks if there’s any forgiveness for our destruction of the planet, for our destruction of humanity. I don’t have an answer to that question. This film however, was excellent.

The Lobster

I can now say that I have indeed considered the Lobster. After seeing The Favourite earlier this year, I decided to go back to watch Yorgos Lanthimos‘ other films. I’m glad I did. This was fantastic.

The Ceremony (儀式)

A bizarre 70s Japanese film about family, duty, and incest. Reading about this film, it seems like much of it was meant to be an indictment of the older generation, as well as the younger generation’s unwillingness to speak out against tradition. As a film, it’s truly strange, but also brutal in its methodical breakdown of the protagonist.

Hobbs & Shaw

A very silly buddy comedy. They talk about balls a bit too often for a movie with two 50 year old protagonists, but it was fun at times. There’s very little connection between this and Fast & Furious, but if you like Stratham & The Rock, you’ll have fun.

The Farewell

I cried a lot during this film. Awkwafina did a fantastic job, and it’s cool to see a major US release mostly in Mandarin. If you’ve recently lost a grandparent, or have gone through family illness, this might just hit you really hard.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

This was a very strange movie, even by Tarentino’s standards. A mix of fake show clips, stories of a man and his valet, and glimpses into the Manson family. I laughed quite a bit, and generally found this movie to be a blast.

A Vigilante

This was hard to watch. It was very well done, and intensely paced, but the abuse in the films was painful. There’s a grim morality in this film, and a certain catharsis in seeing abusers punished, but fuck.

Thoroughbreads

A fantastically creepy film about ennui and friendship. I loved it.

Spiderman: Far from Home

This is exactly what I want from a superhero movie: fun. The stakes were much smaller than an Avengers movie, despite this film happening in the aftermath of both the “blip” and many deaths, and that’s a good thing. Instead of world-changing events, we got to enjoy Peter and his classmates goofing around in Europe, and the zany world of Mysterio. I loved this movie. The action was exciting, and the jokes were silly and fun.

Hospitalitié (歓待)

A strange movie reminiscent of a short story I read years ago where. house guests slowly take over a family’s home. It’s dark, funny, and a poignant commentary on xenophobia.

Midsommar

Wow. What a gorgeous, twisted, wild film. From the music to the ultra-bright summer of it all, I loved this movie. If you’re quite squeamish, give it a pass. Otherwise, skål!

Force Majeure

A slow burn of a movie. Largely, this is about a family, and a father who is kind of a shit. Tormund from GoT shows up. Lots of skiing. Grey fog. Fin.

Ralph Breaks the Internet

This was super cute, with a nice mix of weird jokes and internet references. It’s wild how many amazing actors they got to join in the strange fun. If you liked the first film, you’ll enjoy the new one.

X-Men: Dark Phoenix

This movie wasn’t as bad as critics have said, which isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement. Out of the two treatments of the Dark Phoenix, I think this one was better. The story was a bit odd, but overall, it was fun and a lot of shit blew up. B- summer pap.

Starfish

A largely solo trek through grief, loneliness, and the end of the world. The soundtrack to Starfish was excellent, as was the performance of Ginny Gardner. Without spoiling anything, it’s best to say this movie goes in interesting directions and is shot beautifully.

Wandering Earth

This is the second-highest grossing film in Chinese cinematic history. I’ve heard about this book for a while, and conceptually it’s interesting to think about the Earth moving instead of colony ships leaving, but it’s frustrating that Chinese censors meant that the themes of the film are somewhat limited. The end result felt more like The Core than Star Wars, and overall it was rather disappointing.

John Wick 3

Ridiculous from start to finish. The fights were fun, the plot moved forward at a fast clip, and this is one of my favorite silly action franchise.

Lego Movie: Part 2

Fun, but didn’t match up to the sheer weird joy of the first movie.

Detective Pikachu

Hilarious and so, so fun. This was definitely a kids movie, but aimed solidly at kids who’re 28-35 now—my generation has the funds to relive our childhoods in cinema. I played a few Pokémon games, and watched the cartoon for a little while in middle school, and seeing all of the Pokémon I know flitting around the screen was a hoot. Ryan Reynolds did some fantastic Pikachu voice acting, matched by the incredible CGI of his fur. One of the sillier, funnier movies I’ve seen in a minute. “My clues!”

Burning

It’s been years since I read the story that this movie was inspired by, so I barely remember it. The pacing of Burning was slow, but each shot was artful, and each scene a strange delight. Also, the ambling, slightly clueless protagonist seemed to fit right in to Murakami world.

Arctic

This was in a really intense movie about how fucking cold it can get in the Arctic, and how scary it is to be crashed there. I like to think that this is somehow an extension of the Hannibal universe, and that in order to escape capture he became a pilot.

Avengers:Endgame

This was like three movies jammed into one. It was fine, but I hope they stop doing the massive super hero stuff for a while.

Hagazussa

Bizarre and utterly obsessed with liquids. Hard to watch, but also beautiful at times.

Still Walking

A delightful meditation on family. I watched an earlier Koreeda movie called Nobody Knows just after college, and it destroyed me. I mostly forgot about this director until Shoplifters last year, and damn, I loved that film too. I think i only have the emotional wherewithal to watch something he made every few months, but each time I dive into his world, there’s an incredible depth to how he shows the small ways we love and lose each other. Also it’s wild to see You-san in an acting role, and not on the Terrace House couch.

Little

I don’t know where to start with this weird mess of a movie. It was super funny at times, but left a lot on the cutting floor, had an utterly bizarre trans “joke”, and the worst driving scenes I’ve seen. At the same time, it was goofy, cute, and a man behind us loudly said, “that’s her when she was little”.

Glass

Well, I’ve finished Shyamalan’s weird comic trilogy. I remember watching Unbreakable in the theater at the mall near my house as a kid. I’d don’t know if that mall even exists anymore, but for a while, you could go to the arcade downstairs, and then watch a movie in the theater near the food court. I was straight-up enamored with Shyamalan at the time. Sixth Sense was fresh on my mind, and Unbreakable was bizarre, but hinted at something wild. Subsequent movies took this M. Night from a must watch icon, to an amusing auteur, and I think that’s great. The Happening is a movie I deeply love, but this trilogy never really lived up to either the mystery or weirdness of his best work. I think in an effort to make a meta-comic movie, he made something that ultimately doesn’t deliver much past a so-so premise that heroes do exist. Which, is fine, but isn’t “he was dead the whole time,” or “the plants!”

The Night is Short, Walk on Girl

This movie is gorgeous, which is to be expected from one of Yusuke Nakamura’s works. The plot is pretty bonkers, and includes everything from strange gods, rare alcohols, and a collection of Classical Japanese porn. If you like this, you might also love Tatami Galaxy from the same folks. There’s a certain spiritual similarity to Tampopo in this film’s over-the-top appreciation for food and drinks too.

Tampopo

This was a really fun movie about how amazing food can be. Tons of literal and figurative porn scenes about noodles, eggs, and more. The western film style is kinda wacky and silly, but the overall tone was interesting. I was a bit out of it when I watched this film, so I missed some of it, but likely this’ll be a rewatch.

Us

Super spooky. I don’t want to spoil anything, but the combination of very good dad jokes, incredibly talented actors, and tight pacing kept this film feeling scary and fun throughout. There’s twists and turns, and a very good boat name or two. See this movie. I’m stoked we get to see more of Peele’s work in the future.

Prospect

What a cool movie. This tense space flick proved that you can do a lot of sci-fi stuff with less budget. I love media about shitty tech, and this is kind of “what happens when you’re a skint space prospector” angle down pat. This could’ve been a weird Cowboy Bebop live action, but instead tackled the idea from a different angle. Sophie Thatcher rules, too. Wherever this was shot, it was gorgeous.

Captain Marvel

Super fun! Brie Larson made for a very compelling super hero, and I love Goose with my whole heart. The 90s throwback setting was a delight, along with its soundtrack. I’m stoked to see what this sets up for future Marvel films, and hopeful that we see the Skrull again (please show up in Runaways).

Flavors of Youth

An alright film about the things we leave behind as we grow older, and the tastes and regrets we have. Most of this film is set in China, which is an interesting place to hear all the characters speak Japanese. There are three vignettes, and none really tugged my heartstrings, but it was still a well done movie.

Anna and the Apocalypse

A high-school musical with zombies. I really don’t like musicals, to be honest. I’d heard good things about this one though, and wanted to give it a chance. The cast is doing a pretty good job throughout, though the relatively one-dimensional characters of the “hot jock” and the “asshole headmaster” are schlocky. This movie mostly made me want to watch Sean of the Dead again, which used rock music to better effect.

Polar

Mads Mikkelsen got his Takeshi Kitano take-no-prisoners action role. This movie was adapted from a comic, and it feels just like a comic, down to the choppy dialogue, fast-paced action, and dead-simple plot. It’s kinda fun, if you can get over the copious amounts of cartoonish murder.

Piercing

Weird. I read this book probably 10 years ago, and enjoyed it. The movie is a lighter adaptation, as it’s trickier to capture internal dialogue on film. Mia Wasikowska is outstanding as usual. I also enjoyed the general 70s aesthetic, and the cool selection of lingerie. This film only clocks in at about an hour and twenty minutes, but manages to build and release tension a few times.

Spy

I don’t know why I slept on this film. I guess I like Paul Fieg movies? This is delightful fare from Melissa Mcarthy, and a solid supporting cast.

Close

Noomi Rapace is a badass bodyguard in this short, high-action thriller. The “rich girl who eventually learns she needs help” is a long-standing trope, but it’s plays well here. This movie takes place in a weird parallel reality wherein everyone uses Blackberrys. Shout out to Indira Varma too, who was great in Luther, Game of Thrones, and now as a potentially treacherous stepmom.

IO

Another great eco-pocalypse movie. Limited cast and locations, but a cool premise overall. This movie was short, but definitely hit many of my speculative fiction check marks. I want to ride an ATV now.

Vox Lux

I loved the intense opening scenes of this film, and the scrolling credits—I’ve rarely seen something like this, and it felt brutal and fresh. Sadly the rest of the film felt like an idea that they forgot to film. Was she the devil? Didn’t explore that. Single mom? Didn’t explore that. There was so much buildup with no payoff. Terrorists? Nah. Long song b-roll? Yep. Even Sia couldn’t be bothered to record anything great for this film. Missed opportunity. This could‘be been Wicked and Divine, the movie.

Destroyer

Another film with Tony Kebbell—seeing him in this after seeing him in Hurricane Heist was a wild ride. I think his American accent got better. Also, Kusama seemed pretty obsessed with Kidman’s face throughout this film. This was a intense sad cop/revenge film, with elements from many old sad cop guy films—transformed into something new by letting the old cop be a woman. I really appreciated the Halt & Catch Fire alumni, as well as the always delightful Tatiana Maslany. This movie felt like a different era, and painted LA in a grim, dusty light.

Shoplifters

What a fantastic film. In some ways this reminded me of the anime Tokyo Godfathers—which is also about a group of underground folks taking in a child. The way Shoplifters weaved chosen family in with delightful vignettes and outstanding performances by two children was masterful. This felt like a Japan that rarely appears in cinema—a group of folks struggling with poverty, and not sure how to be part of a society that seems to expect them to join in. I will probably rewatch this, and highly recommend it.

Hurricane Heist

I knew going in that this would be a bonkers film, having listened to the How Did This Get Made episode about it, but wow. Everyone in this film except for Maggie Grace is from England or Australia, and their accents are absurd. I feel like everyone got drunk, decided to use an “Alabama accent” and then a movie happened. Nothing that happened made sense, but also it was a hoot.

Assasination Nation

I’m still not sure what I saw. I think this aims to be a cautionary tale about mob rule, privacy, and misogyny. It’s brutal, graphic, and so full of -isms, I can’t say I recommend it. It’s wild that this movie played in theaters. I’m kinda stoked Hari Nef got to be a mean teen trans lady. By the end there’s a revenge bloodbath that I can’t tell if I was meant to find cathartic, or sad. This is definitely the most misanthropic and nihilistic movie I’ve seen in years.

2018

Hearts Beat Loud

I cried through a lot of this, because the dad was so good. A+ always here for rebellious lesbian daughters with amazing musical talent and cool girlfriends. Also here for every person in the cast, and a random Jeff Tweedy cameo. Also Best American Girl was a dope song/Puberty 2 was an amazing album. I will rewatch this.

Bird Box

Spooky fun times. A bit of Blindness, a bit of the Happening, and a bit of Sandra Bullock. This was a star vehicle, with lots of randomly awesome small characters. Worth a watch, especially if you’re already a Netflix person.

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse

Such a fun, silly movie. I recently played the Spider-Man PS4 game, so it was cool to see Miles return. Also, I’m a fan of Spider-Gwen, and I’m stoked she got a movie appearance. The whole theater was cracking up for over half of the film, and then it got a little serious and action-y. I really hope they make another one of these. The animation was wild, and super original too.

The Favourite

A lesbian triumph. Olivia Coleman had me laughing constantly with her performance as the queen, and Rachel Weiss & Emma Stone were a delight. This movie was a bizarre, hilarious, and strangely shot film; using fisheye lenses, and lots of smooth pans on a rail made for a truly odd experience. There was quite a bit of creative anachronism, and some very adorable ducks. Easily one of the best movies I saw this year.

### The Equalizer: 2

This is apparently the first sequel Denzel has ever made. I’ve loved the genre of Denzel as an ultraviolent avenging angel ever since I saw Man on Fire. Some folks may prefer John Wick, and granted, those movies have a great style, but damn, the Equalizer is a series I hope to see more of in the future.

The Death of Stalin (rewatch)

It’s the season for rewatching films.

Slice

Super goofy horror film with lots of great folks. I think B movies can only rarely be made great from the start, and this one could’ve used a little less effort.

The Fast & the Furious (rewatch)

A few friends hadn’t watched this before, so we drank a bit, and had a rip-roaring good time seeing this again. Everyone is decked-out in the most late 90s gear, the camera work is bonkers, and the cars are cool, but painted like awful hot wheels. I love this series.

Hereditary

Granted, the central twist was spoiled for me, but so much of this movie felt joyless. Theoretically this movie should’ve been right up my alley, but honestly I would’ve rather rewatched the VVitch for the umpteenth time.

Widows

This was one of my favorite movies of the year. Wow. A all badass lady heist movie with actual stakes! Everyone delivers in this film, and it was a hoot. A+

Crazy Rich Asians

This was a schlocky romcom about a very rarefied set of Chinese Singaporeans. It was fun enough, and now both of the people I saw it with want to flood the aisle of a building during their wedding. Moms are a lot.

Girl with a Dragon Tattoo (rewatch)

My partner hasn’t seen these, and I would watch them again basically whenever, so here we are.

Ant Man and the Wasp (rewatch)

Just as delightful the second go-round. More fun superhero movies please.

Skyscraper

So, so ridiculous and terrible… but also kind of great? Like, what if Die Hard wasn’t as good, and had the Rock in Hong Kong? I watched this so I could listen to this week’s How Did This Get Made, and I am glad I did.

The Girl in the Spider’s Web

We’re on our third Lisbeth actress, and while Claire Foy more than filled the shoes of Rooney Mara, the same can’t quite be said for whoever replaced Daniel Craig. This was a fun, twisty movie, that was inadvertently stressful for my partner because of all the snow and ice driving. Lisbeth continues to deliver her brand of justice, while “then Lisbeth hacks the thing” is a major plot device. Kudos to all the lesbians in this, and the giant case of dildos. Fun movie.

The Guilty

A wild single-room movie, that takes place completely over the phone. I love the narrative device, and the slow, dread-filled pacing. The movie largely takes place in your own imagination, helped along by excellent foley, and voice acting.

The First Purge

Yow, what a good mess. I don’t know why I love the Purge films, and to be honest, this one felt a little too real. However, I watched this on Halloween, so it fit my needs of a spooky, scary movie.

Halloween (2018)

This was goofy and fun, while still being a twisty thriller. Ultimately, these are morality tales about private property ownership, lol. A+ to Jamie Lee Curtis, and also all the random bit players. Definitely a good popcorn flick with friends.

Halloween

A spooky throwback to get ready for the sequel. I guess they made a bunch of these and they were all garbage, and the new movie aims to erase them. I think somehow the only one I’d seen was Season of the Witch, which is the 3rd movie in the original set. The 70s were a weird time, and the amount of nudity random “gotta take my clothes off” is just yikes. Jamie Lee Curtis did a great job. I’m hoping the pacing of the new film is more up to modern standards though, because dang, did this feel dated and slow in a lot of ways.

Hotel Artemis

From the preview, I assumed this would be a John Wick knockoff, but it was fun in its own right. Lots of action, Jenny Slate, and a wide array of solid actors. The future is a dismal one, but hey, that checks out.

Beirut

What if John Hamm’s Mad Men character was a state department guy turned negotiator? 70s Beirut is a trip in the way it’s presented, and knowing a little history, this seems like a wild but semi-accurate portrayal of all the folks who fought over Lebanon during and after the civil war. This is a tonally dark political thriller, and I dug it.

Venom

What a perfectly odd anti-hero film. I was a big Venom fan as a kid, and this movie delivered everything I wanted in a Venom movie. Fuck the haters, this is a hoot. I don’t think this should win any prizes for cinema but it’s fun, and provided lots of awkward laughs. The action was exciting, and I can’t wait for a sequel full of carnage.

Sicario: Day of the Solado

Another ridiculous action film about “the cartels” that I can’t honestly tell is meant to make folks dislike the US or root for us. If you want to watch Cable/Thanos run around and shoot things, this is probalby a good movie for you. I don’t find these very clever, but mostly I wish we got an Equalizer-style movie focused on Benecio Del Toro’s character. While I’m hoping, perhaps Demián Bichir can be in the third movie.

Mandy

A weirdo pyschadelic mess of a movie. I hate that a woman’s death is used as a catalyst, but beyond that this is a bloody, ridiculous revenge flick. The music is great throughout and perhaps we were all delirious, but my theater laughed quite a bit.

Dawn of the Dead (2004/Rewatch)

I could watch this every year. This is an excellent remake of an excellent zombie film. Everyone gives their all, and so many of the deaths, kills, and twists are perfect. A+ work from before Zach Snyder made cruddy films.

A Simple Favor

What a silly, fun movie. It ends up in kind of a weird, messy state by the end, as if Feig is like “wait, what if they don’t remember I made Bridesmaids?!?”, but I generally enjoyed seeing Blake Lively be a cool babe, while Anna Kendrick does her thing. All the side-characters were fun, and even though it felt long, it was also consistently enjoyable.

Blindspotting

This is the third movie I’ve seen this year that was shot in Oakland, and I loved it. There is so much intensity, and so many parts that made me hold my breath, but everyone in this, especially Daveed Diggs, just showed-up and did an outstanding job. The criticism of gentrification in this felt more present and painful than Sorry to Bother You, and the raw emotional energy between family and friends here was so good.

The Nun

Lol, this ridiculous series. My friend got me into this while I was recovering from a surgery last year by asking me to watch all the preceding movies before we went to see one of the Annabelle ones. This series delivers spooky times, jump-scares, and a universe completely devoid of a loving god. I’m always down for a movie where the evil folks win, and this series is suitably unclear about who actually comes out on top, so I just claim it for the demons.

The Endless

What a bizarre, fantastic film. I loved the world and magic of this movie, as well as the general sense of eerie inevitably. I’m excited to see the previous film as well. The shots of this film are a mix of dutch angles, handheld, and some neat CGI. There’s quite a bit of upsetting stuff in this film, but it’s also a fun ride.

47 Meters Down

Mandy Moore has never scuba-dived, but on a vacation to Mexico, her asshole friend convinces her to scuba in a cage with sharks to forget a man. It goes about as poorly as you’d think. I loved every claustrophobic minute of this. Fuck the ocean, I’m sticking to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Mary and the Witch’s Flower

A cute anime about a young girl who stumbles into the world of witchcraft. Very reminiscent of Howl’s Moving Castle, but with a less encompassing world.

Den of Thieves

A heist movie with a pretty solid cast. Gerard Butler plays a shitty, dirty cop well. He was definitely believable as “the guy who treats everyone like shit, but we’re supposed to believe he is a very good dad who just loves his daughters.” The plot was decently executed, but it’s mostly just a movie with lots of bro posturing and guns. Not a bad way to spend a couple hours on the couch.

Masterminds

A ridiculous heist comedy with Zach Galafanakis, Kristen Wiig, and Jason Sudekis. It’s about as ridiculous as you would imagine. A+ romp. Lots of quality physical comedy.

Book Club

Watched this on a whim with a couple friends, and it was kinda great? I love Candace Bergen from the Murphy Brown days, and hope I look as good as Diane Keaton when I’m older. Silly popcorn fun. Also I guess I own it now because it wasn’t available to rent.

The Meg

Wow. This is my new favorite sea-based movie. What an epically hilarious film. A+ good job everyone.

Mission Impossible Fallout

A wild, nearly 3 hour ride through a comical series of twists and beards. I laughed out loud often, both at the unearned gravitas, and actual jokes. I love this series like Tom Cruise loves being an action hero: deeply, and passionately.

Ready Player One

I blame my friend Mark, because he chose this for us to watch. It was just as bad as I thought it would be, but blessedly we could make good jokes throughout.

Drive Angry

There are probably worse Nic Cage movies, but this is the worst one I’ve seen. Every scene is painfully bad.

Tomb Raider

Fun, and very surprisingly entertaining for a video game movie. Lots of “oh, I could see how this would play in the game,” scenes. Alicia Vikander is a much better Lara Croft too, imo.

Sorry to Bother You

This is the movie Idiocracy wishes it were. Sorry to Bother You skewers tech culture, bay-area poverty, racial injustice, and so much more. Throughout, Tessa, Lakeith, and the rest of the cast deliver awesome performances. A mix of chilling and laugh-inducing. One of the best films I’ve seen this year.

Tragedy Girls

What a wild, fucked-up movie about social media, murder, and friendship. Don’t do it for the gram.

I, Tonya

Finally watched this with a friend, and wow, it was good but full of very violent abuse stuff. Growing up in the 80s/90s, Tonya Harding was in a lot of news, but this definitely filled in a lot of gaps in my knowledge of her story.

Villainess

What a wonderfully bonkers movie. It kicks off with wild first-person murder fest, and just goes off-the-rails from there. One of the bloodier and wilder action films I’ve seen in a long time. Loved it.

The Incredibles 2

Watched this a few hours after the first one. The animation has gotten a LOT better, even though the first one honestly aged pretty well, since they didn’t try to make it photorealistic. The plot was ridiculous again, and they definitely leaned hard into the “men are bad at childcare” shit that I suspected they would. Fun enough though anyways.

The Incredibles

The animation holds up surprisingly well for a few year-old movie, even if the plot depends on some pretty annoying misogynist tropes. I watched this to prep for the new movie, and overall it was a fun, if ridiculous, movie.

Ant Man & the Wasp

This was a hoot. Very silly, and pretty PG, but above all else, this felt like a comic movie. I’d compare this to Spiderman Homecoming or a less stylish Thor Ragnarok. Great summer night movie.

Sicario

What a wild movie, in which I needed to completely suspend all of my feelings about America, the “drug war” and Thanos. If you can attempt to not emotionally connect to the actual monsters in this movie, it’s kinda fun in a “tense film where things blow up” kind of way.

Gemini

Lesbian murder mystery? Yes. This was fun, even if the music felt super weird at times. Good bangs. Cool cars. A movie where men are the worst. Also this seems consistent with the choices and habits of geminis, so, lol. shots fired.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Lol, this movie was absurd. They rushed off the island and so many of the subplots never really paid off? I can’t forget that Pratt is a conservative, and I didn’t really care much about anyone in this film, except for the dinosaurs. I guess I was rooting for the dinosaurs, and I figure they probably came out ahead.

Oh Lucy!

This movie ruled! The world feels pretty rough these days, and this movie doesn’t shy away from difficult topics, but the overarching feeling of Oh Lucy is a kind and happy one. It was also cool seeing an actor I’ve watched in lots of Kiyoshi Kurasawa films show up in a very rad role.

Ocean’s 8

All. Ladies. Heist. A+. I hope everyone involved in this comes out as gay. Points for literally every outfit, and double points for Rhianna’s devil-may-care overalls, and Cate Blanchett’s Carol-as-a-Timelord character.

xx

Terrible title unless everyone involved had to get a karyotype test to be involved. Most of the horror was related to having kids, which meant this movie hit me hard, because kids are the worst and deeply frightening on the best days.

Unlocked

I’m a sucker for middling spy movies, and Noomi Rapace, so I now own this film. It wasn’t great, but it was fun, and dammit, sometimes that’s all I need. TIL Michael Douglas is still around.

Red Sparrow

I will never believe for one second that the protagonist would fall for Joel Edgerton’s bland spyman. For some reason, I expected this movie to be set during the cold war, but instead it’s vaguely now. This had more sexual assault than I expected too, which is a fucking bummer. The saving grace in this film is that by and large Jennifer Lawrence kills or beats all the men in the movie. I can only hope she gets cast in more movies where she doesn’t have to participate in misogynist porn first.

Appropriate Behavior

This was a fun movie about being a Persian Bisexual woman in NYC. Shirin goes through a major breakup, then struggles to date, and heal, while dealing with a family she doesn’t think will understand her queerness, and the strange world of the NYC queer and poly scene. I laughed out loud during a lot of this, even as I scratched my head at the confusing references to trans guys—like, why are they a joke? Overall, I dug this movie, and hope the director/writer Desiree makes more films soon.

Solo

This was probably tied with Last Jedi for my least favorite of the new Star Wars, but I liked it better than pretty much any of the old or prequel ones. It was fun, had a few rad women, and didn’t go overboard on “remember this?” fanservice. I laughed a few times, and I’m hoping they make sequels.

Deadpool 2

As fun as Avengers: Infinity War was boring and meh. Full of silly jokes. There were definitely jokes that were in really poor taste, but pretty much what I expected.

Avengers: Infinity War

This movie tried to tie together too many disparate stories, to bland effect. The attempt at some sort of emotional climax was a big wet fart, despite ten people in the theater I was in yelling at the screen. Like, spoilers they’ll all be back, bc Disney isn’t going to kill off their money-makers. Go rewatch Black Panther of Thor Ragnarok, or like, spend 3 hours outside instead.

In the Fade

One of the saddest movies I’ve seen in a long time. It’s gorgeous, well-shot, and soundtracked, but phew, what a brutal movie about the evils of nazism, and racism.

Geostorm

A trash movie in the best way. If you liked watching Jake Gylenhall run from ice in The Day After Tomorrow, and people saying “zap!” and “geostorm!”, then this movie is for you. Continues the trend of big-budget action films being largely targeted for non-US success, but that means we also get some cool co-stars.

A Quiet Place

A “good christian family” who loves gender roles has to be vewwwwwy quiet so they don’t get eaten by some kind of creatures. This movie was silly as fuck. Every time the monster was on screen, someone had to pantomime “be quiet,” as if the entire movie hadn’t been quiet. Also spoilers but how the fuck do you get pregnant if you know that a baby is going to make loud baby noises and get your family killed? And where did they fuck? Anyways, this is a hate-watch.

The Descent

Another “maybe these are bad people” everything-goes-wrong movie. This was a rewatch, and yet, the cave scenes still had me feeling super claustrophobic. It didn’t help that I was in the middle of a middle row on a plane to Portland from Amsterdam when I watched it.

Cabin Fever

I can’t tell if this was the original, or if this was a remake, but either way, it’s nice to watch annoying and awful people fall apart. This is a theme of the previous and next movie.

The Ritual

A very good “get lost in the woods” movie. Bad things happen to unlikeable men. A+.

The Death of Stalin

Super dark comedy. It has that abusive asshole Jeffrey Tambor, but otherwise is full of hilariously weird old men. If you like Veep or In the Thick of It, this is a must-watch.

Blade

rewatch Wesley Snipes is a half-vampire vampire hunter. It rules.

Wrinkle in Time

I’d recommend listening to this podcast after you see the movie. It was very, very disney, and they burned through everything pretty fast without a lot of wonder. Really glad that the god stuff was gone, but I think they could have jettisoned Calvin too without losing anything.

Thelma

A great movie about being queer, growing up Christian, and maybe having super powers. Relateable AF. Highly recommended.

Annihilation

What a wild movie. I read these books back in 2014 when they were released in a frenzy. I was pretty constantly afraid of the house I was staying in, as I was pretty well disturbed by the book. It had the kind of sneaky quality that gets in your head. The movie did a brisker job of telling a similar story, but I enjoyed it. I’ll probalby see this again, and I’m very curious if they’ll try to make more.

Lost Boys

I hadn’t seen this movie for a long time, but recently Imogen watched and talked about it, so my roommate and I sat down for a revisit. It held up. There’s something fantastic about watching these very gay vampire boys run around and be punk teens. Listen to Imogen’s podcast if you can, bc she says everything I’d wanna cover. Oh, and watch this movie.

Black Panther

Holy shit. I thought this movie would be good, but I had no idea how amazing it would be. Action like woah, a solid plot that doesn’t dig into origin story over and over like other Marvel films, and amazing set and costume design. The array of talented actors in this film is unbelievable. This is one of the best films of 2018. No doubt.

The Cloverfield Paradox

I’d heard a lot of “this movie isn’t good” from folks who hate fun, I guess. It was fun, and a pretty decent “stuff goes wrong in space” movie. I LOVE Cloverfield and even though I was mad at the gendered threat of violence that permeated the entirety of 10 Cloverfield Lane, I still enjoyed bits of that too. The Cloverfield universe is a wild one that I really enjoy. See this if you have Netflix, like seeing WoC protagonists, or like Cloverfield movies.

I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore

Elijah Wood is doing his all in this movie, as is Melanie Lynskey. This goes off the rails midway through, and becomes a thrillride, but keeps up the laughs. Also, yay for a movie that’s set in Portland.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople

Ahhh, this ruled! Sam Neil, and the kid are spectacular. Taika has a lovely cameo as a bizarre priest. This might end up being the best movie I see this year, and it had me laughing pretty consistently throughout.

The Raid

My second viewing of this movie since I saw it in theaters in Berkeley. I love how rad and amazing this tower-escape film is. The fight scenes and film style is so kinetic, and carries you through the film. There’s not a lot in the way of plot, but some of it feels like a Die Hard homage.

The Foreigner

Jackie Chan vs Irish James Bond. This movie kinda ruled. Jackie Chan is fantastic, even at 63, at just dominating the screen with his personality and action. This is definitely a more subdued and serious role than many of his more famous films, but he shows up and is great. Parts of this reminded me of taken, and others of name a political thriller, but overall I really enjoyed this movie.

Battle of the Sexes

I’d heard good things, and this was pretty fun to watch. The lesbian storyline was surprisingly compelling, and very well-done. I’m mad that Adidas didn’t reissue BJK’s signature shoe when this movie came out though. It’s a good shoe. Steve Carrell seemed like many of his other characters in this, but whatever… Billy Riggs was an ass, and they do a good job of showing that.

Murder on the Orient Express

Everyone is acting so hard in this, and yet the result is a mess. That said, I’d watch this again just to see Branaugh’s ridiculous mustache. 10/10 mustache. I saw this in Japan, so I had a beer and french fries to make it slightly better, and pre-roll video that repeated “NO NO NO” in English to admonish us for even considering texting or talking.

2017

this list is super truncated because i forgot keep it until july

Life

Everyone forgets their training, acts like an ass, and gets munched by aliens. It was entertaining in a schadenfreude way.

Moonlight

Cried through most of this. It’s about growing up black & gay, with a neurodiverse mom. It’s beautiful, intense, and in my top five movies I’ve ever seen. Incredible.

Get Out

At times hilarious, and others biting AF. I really loved this movie. A pitch-perfect callout of “good white folks”, like we often are.

Alien Covenant

Aliens rule. This movie ruled. Kenny Powers flies a spaceship, and new Ridley is solid. Also Magneto is creepy AF in this.

Logan

It’s like Wolverine, but better, because he’s old. Also this has Rictor, who was gay in the comics with Shatterstar. Super entertaining.

Fast & Furious 8

Haven’t seen one of these? Ready to live your life a quarter-mile at a time? Start at 1, then watch 2, 4, 5, 6, 3, 7, 8. I think. Anyways, this is bonkers in a perfect way.

Blame!

A anime movie? Yea, this series by Nihei is kinda rad, and there’s cool killer lady. It’s 3D animated, which is kinda the worst, but it doesn’t look horrible in this.

Rogue One

Ah, this was super good. A+ characters, fun action, and a lack of space incest! Also the robot was comic relief without being a jar jar.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Brian Cox from that other X-Men movie and also Rushmore is a morgue-guy, like those cuties from Six Feet Under… except spookier. Also I think the other guy was Spiderman.

Lego Batman

Gob Bluth is the bat. This movie is hilarious. Bonus points if you’re a DC comics nerd, or just enjoy fun.

Train to Busan

Seriously one of the best zombie movies I’ve seen in a long time. Also I love trains, and this is the best train movie since Snowpiercer.

Aliens

Ugh, this sequel to Alien was so good, and still is so good. RIP cool cat, but yay for all the rad ladies in this. Also Bishop is the only ok robot in this series.

Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Overall, pretty entertaining. Gomorra is cool as always. Baby Groot was less awful than I expected, and hey! Kurt Russell space dad.

John Wick 2

So, this is more Keanu as a vengeful Denzel Washington-esque character, but not as good. I liked this movie, but also Man on Fire did it better. Well shot though! And there’s at least a nod towards ammo being a thing.

Kong: Skull Island

Wow, they just told Samuel L. Jackson to be his one character, which is a great character. Bonus points for Steve Brule.

Tremors

“Featuring Kevin Bacon from Footloose” as the least convincing outdoor working man in a movie, ever. He and his boyfriend can’t leave town, so they end up fighting giant worms. This movie is super euphemistic, hilarious, and the best role Reba has ever had.

Shin Godzilla

A fantastic look at how modern bureaucracy and posturing can get in the way of stopping a giant lizard. Too bad they don’t show the environmental devastation wrought by eschewing safety checks.

Your Name

A super cute, super straight story of love through time. Imagine if the Lake House was better, and didn’t have Keanu. It’s basically this.

The Girl with All the Gifts

Another great zombie movie, with a super cute protagonist. Cute kid zombies are great.

Raw

This is literally what happens if you break vegan.

Prometheus

Had to rewatch this after Covenant. Still perfect. Naomi Rapace could do her taxes on film, and I’d probably be riveted. She rules.

Justice League Dark

I wanted this to be better. It was so-so, and seriously, Swamp Thing?

The Heat

A send-up of Lethal Weapon + every buddy cop film. Mcarthy and Bullock are fantastic in this.

Keanu

I will watch this yearly, as it’s one of the 4 movies I own. Get high, and watch this movie about a kitten, and the men who love him.

Wicker Man

Nick Cage at his most unhinged. Well, close to it. My roommate hadn’t seen this, so I introduced her to this hilarious hellride.

Neon Demon

Don’t get into modeling. It’ll end badly. This movie was beautiful, gory, and wild.

Kubo

I’ve enjoyed other movies from this studio more – Coraline for one – but this was still fun.

Baby Driver

I’d avoided watching this because I hadn’t read great things about it, save for this review by Matt Haughey. While I agree with him that the opening action scene was stellar, so were the short films BMW made with greats like Wong Kar Wai a few years ago to sell cars. I liked watching this film, but it’s unfortunate that the men were two-dimensional, and the women collapsed in on themselves, with no characterization, or much motivation. I’d expected a bit more of Edgar Wright, but on the upside, the musical cues were also quite good. I’m not fully sure if this is a tribute to old McQueen movies, or what, but it was alright, but I can’t co-sign the fantastic from the above. It was exciting, but the stakes weren’t ever high, because I never cared much about the protagonist, because I was given no reason to care. We’ve seen chases before, parkour, car work. This movie could’ve elevated them further, but it chose not to. I never believed there really was jeopardy, because as the movie, and the news of the day makes clear, “he’s such a good boy,” is something that will always apply to the white male criminal.

Valerian

The short version is that this was very targetted towards a Chinese release, partially due to the studio financing, and even Besson was promoting it on Weibo. I had a great time watching this movie, but it was pretty dang ridiculous, and had super traditional and boring gender roles and “marriage is the best” kind of crap. Still, the visuals were incredible, and it was a fun space romp. Recommended.

Secret Life of Pets

I blame my friend Andy – they wanted to watch this because they were tired and we thought it’d be cute. It was very cute, but also pretty silly. I dunno. Kids probably loved it. There’s some good cats.

Atomic Blonde

Charlize Theron as a queer badass assassin/spy? Sold. Because this is mainstream Hollywood, of course that doesn’t last, but still… this was a fun romp. A summer movie devoid of substance, but thick and heavy with style and silliness.

Flatliners

Kiefer oozes weird attraction in this classic about chasing the meaning of life by dying for minutes. I saw a trailer for the sequel to this, I guess, with Ellen Page, so I had to revisit the original. I loved it all over again. Spooky and silly. And, to quote my roommate, “how many Baldwins are there?!”

They’re Watching

This was goofy as hell, and was sort of a comedic Blair Witch in Moldova thing. Near the end it takes a sharp left, and we were cracking up. Worth watching on Netflix, perhaps?

2012

A beautifully terrible film by the guy who brought us The Day After Tomorrow. I love a movie where we’re led to believe that John Cusack is the best driver in the world, and a writer-cum-action hero. I love watching this movie when I’m camping, or hiking for a few days, because it’s so ridiculous, and also it’s wild to watch the world end, however silly the movie.

In This Corner of the World

SO. MANY. TEARS. My friends and I sobbed through a lot of this film about the atrocities of World War 2, especially the destruction the United States caused in Japan. The movie follows a woman living in Hiroshima, then Kure, who grows up in the 30s and 40s, and sees her friends and loved ones suffer during the war. It’s beautiful, hilarious at times, and sad. This movie is a shift on the view that Grave of the Fireflies offers, but definitely in similar territory.

The Visit

Guessed the twist about 20 minutes into this movie and i’m really proud of that because I’m usually the worst at figuring out where bad movies are headed. Don’t trust your grandparents. Don’t send your kids anywhere. Don’t ever clean your oven.

The Conjuring

This was great, until the witch didn’t win. I can’t help but think these movies are trying to get me to follow their lord and savior.

The Conjuring 2

Yep, these are definitely witnessing. A cool demon has a hard time with some very awful British people. Watched both of these in quick succession to get to see Annabelle 2 or whatever later on tonight.

Annabelle: Creation

This was a very silly movie with children making terrible choices. I don’t think dolls themselves are very scary, but Catholicism is definitely scary. Everyone who gets hunted by the demon or whatever was also a practicing Catholic, so maybe being a satanist or atheist would be some kinda ghost protection.

Wall-E

One of the best movies ever, and it’s held up super well in animation and craft. I love this robot.

I think I watched a movie about a plague

I was on a LOT of drugs for surgery, so I have no idea what this was called, but I’m pretty sure I saw it before?

The Happening

This fucking movie is straight-up incredible. Mark Wahlberg at his best “I’m just happy to be here,” and a whole lot of incredibly banal deaths. Zooey “Literal Beige Person” Deschanel is also in this for some reason. Anyways, I love that this was one of the movies we all saw, hoping for the return of that GOOD GOOD Sixth Sense action, and instead we got this beautiful god trash. Eat a pound of desert pudding and cry about humanity. “I’m gonna give you… a math riddle.”

IT

Hadn’t seen it, and wow what a silly joy. Not scary at all, but I’m definitely even less trustworthy of Tim Curry now, I guess? Everyone is giving their all in this movie.

Wonder Woman

Ok, I finally saw it. I literally couldn’t stop thinking about Gal being part of an anti-Palestian army, but once Chris Pine made me laugh by doing a bad German accent. This movie bravely asks the question: “she’s a goddess, but when will she become super saiyan?” Not particularly into this movie.

Spiderman: Homecoming

This is the kind of superhero film that makes me smile. I think this is the best reboot of the Spiderman franchise, and it is filled with silly, fun moments, that emphasize the more joyful aspects of the character. I’m looking forward to the next few. Marvel seems like they’re just going to keep making better movies than DC, save for the Nolan Batman movies. Speaking of Batman – the second best modern Batman (Michael Keaton) also plays the Vulture in this movie. Go figure. Anyways, this was a fun romp.

Ingrid Goes West

Everyone besides Dan is terrible in this movie, and Dan is hella co-dependent. This is a biting satire of the lives folks live in pursuit of Instagram perfection.

Death Becomes Her

Bruce Willis, with hair! Wow. Everything about this movie is perfect. Women seeking eternal youth. Isabella Rossilini just oozing charisma and power. Inexplicable wrestling manservants. Mincing Bruce Willis. The prothesis in this movie is hella Beetlejuice. I loved it.

New IT

I think I’m broken inside, because jump scares and all of the “scary” bits of this film didn’t phase me. It was at times pretty cute, but the misogyny and against the only girl in the group was the scariest thing of all. I’m interested to see what they do with the second part of this movie. The visuals were kinda neat and well-done.

Friend Request

Wow, this movie was garbage. I ended up skipping through it because the first 20 minutes were so painful. 0 thumbs out of 20.

The Hitman’s Bodyguard

Samuel L Jackson at 68 in The Hitman’s Bodyguard is doing a better job than most action guys half his age. What a goofy, fun movie. It’s not particularly smart, but it was a wonderful romp. A summer action movie through and through.

Ghost in the Shell (with ScarJo & white-washing)

The fashion was kinda neat, and some of the visuals were cool. The story seemed worse than the anime though, and I can’t tell if ScarJo can’t act, or just collected a paycheck. Bonus points to Beat Takeshi for just speaking Japanese the entire time, unlike the rest of the characters. He’s great. I hope he got paid for this trash.

xXx: The Return of Xander Cage

Wow, this movie was over-the-top ridiculous. And the terrible coat was back from the first movie. I think this canonically takes place in the Marvel universe, because of Samuel L. Jackson. I have no idea why xXx uses “extreme sports” people, soccer stars, and a DJ(?), but here we are. I love this very, very goofy series, and bought this movie with a big grin when it was no longer available for rent. Everyone is having a blast, and it’s a multi-cultural cast that is filled with neat folks.

Blade Runner: 2046

Damn. This was definitely one of my favorite movies this year. Every scene was so beautiful, and skillfully art-directed. I loved that Mackenzie Davis (also from the San Junipero, the Martian, & Halt & Catch Fire) was in this too. Harrison Ford was spectacular, and somehow Ryan Reynolds didn’t bother me. The outfits ruled, and even though I wish there’d been more central roles for women, the women that were in the film were neat. I’ll own this, and watch it more than once, for sure. Now, to find some of the outfits in the film…

What Happened to Monday

A movie with Noomi Rapace playing 7 different women? I’m in. Willem Dafoe was in this too. Mostly this movie was a neat dystopia with lots of twists, and even though Noomi Rapace wasn’t quite up to Tatiana Maslany’s Orphan Black performance, it’s still really, really well edited.

Landline

From the same creators as Obvious Child, which ruled, comes this movie about a family in the 90s trying to keep from imploding. Jenny Slate is great in this, and the sisterhood on display is pretty adorable. John Turturro does a great job too.

Colossal

Oh, great, a movie about white people working out their alcoholism and relationship issues while murdering folks in Korea. I dunno. This wasn’t great. Also damn girl, those bangs are LONG.

Beyond the Gates

Very silly movie about a VCR-based horror game that… is really happening. A fun time for the spooky holidays.

Pitch Black

Vin’s other, other series. Vin Diesel plays the same character, but this time, he’s in a space black tank top, and his eyes glow because he can see in the dark, I guess? There’s a genderqueer-ish person in this film, but I checked and the actress is definitely a straight and feminine-presenting woman now. Was hoping Jack grew up to be a genderfucking weirdo cool kid.

Fried Green Tomatoes

This was charming and cute. It wasn’t as gay as I wanted it to be, but was gayer than most. RIP Smokey. RIP other characters. I read the book before I saw this movie, somehow, and I missed some of the book scenes, but overall this was fun.

The Babysitter

If I’d watched this alone I would’ve turned it off after a few minutes. It was garbage. It’s like the creators of Scary Movie read Ready Player One, and thought, yea, we can do that. Terrible.

The VVitch

This movie rules. It’s about jettisoning a sex-negative, shitty family for the loving embrace of Satan and a coven of witches. The vibe is sullen AF, and very stark. I think I’ve seen this movie five times, three of those in the theater. This was a perfect movie to watch during Samhain.

Thor: Ragnarok

A+ super hero movie. Silly and unpretentious.

Lady Bird

The truest old millennial movie. I cried a lot.

The Room

Terrible movie. Great rewatch. This movie is epically bad, and I hope everyone has had a chance to see the copious softcore sex scenes, and confusing “american man” football rituals.

Okja

A sometimes cute, sometimes very grim movie about the evils of capitalism and factory farming. The protagonist is the cutest, and is really giving her all in every scene, and Paul Dano and Jake Gylenhall manage to not spoil the movie with their characters. Steven Yuen is pretty great, and Tilda Swinton continues in her consistent “I’m definitely not an alien in human skin” character from movies of yore.

The Disaster Artist

Wow. This movie is a parade of actors and actresses who loved the Room in all it’s weirdness. This movie falls somewhere between a tribute, a satire, and a dramatic reinterpretation documentary. I loved it. Saw this with another long-time The Room fan, and we both were in tears laughing. I will see this again. The podcast How Did This Get Made? has a great episode for this movie too that begins with their The Room episode.

It Follows

This is my second viewing, and this movie was still unbelievably creepy. I made my friend watch American Vandal with me after this to get less scared. It’s a horror film about an STI haunting. I dunno. It’s wild. Watch this, but be ready to always watch for a single, slowly-walking person in a crowd.

Rare Exports

A perfectly weird holiday movie about the real santa.

Die Hard

It’s a wonderful holiday time for everyone, except german models turned “terrorist”. Points to this one for accurately pointing out that white people are the bad guys though.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Here for this. Love the porgs, and love Luke punking Kylo. This was a great combination of ridiculous and fun. I like that Rian brought more humor into the world of the star war.

2016

Nine Lives

Nothing could redeem this absolute shitpile. We thought it would be funny to watch a movie about Kevin Spacey as a cat, but it was unbearably bad. Avoid.